self port. Winter of ’09
Barefooted/evening gown/Gestapo jacket
Abandoned industrial park
(After a bitter breakup)
“Don’t ever be afraid to look inside of yourself and see who you are.”
“You have to walk through your past; through the wreckage, and survey the damage.”
-Candy Finnigan, Interventionist (quoted from the tv show: “Intervention”)
“Don’t ever be too proud to cry and say you’re sorry.”
-Mormon preacher who married me years ago.
(God forbid I should marry a Mormon and share myself with 10 other women, um…NO. I mean, the Mormon preacher who married myself and my x husband. I’m no Mormon, but I’m not prejudiced either. I was down with it.)
“You have to hug the monster. Embrace the pain that rips you up. Hug it. Befriend it. Thank it. It’s only a “bad situation” if you believe it is. Turn it around.”
“You have to take the bad and make it good. Shape it, remold it, take the old and make it new.”
-my Pastor (and dear friend, told to me once in a dream)
“Tears keep the heart soft.”
I’ve never wanted to quit school more than I do now. Sometimes I feel like I have to fight to find a reason to keep on going. Alas, “quitter” doesn’t exist in my vocabulary and I suppose I shine the most when the darkness is the blackest. I owe the school $1,380 because I had to scale back and drop Algebra and Public Speaking. (Sigh.) Here we go again. We’re flat broke and things are fairly rough.
I’m getting so tired of shooting with this G3! I miss my Lens Baby and my DSLR. I can’t express the things that I want, and I feel trapped; unable to write-sing– unable to do my art.
Life seems to be standing still.
Or perhaps it’s just me.