It’s 3:30 a.m. and I’m watching The Dark Crystal and thinking about nabbing another bowl of Pistachio Almond Ice cream. Party for one. 🙂
I’m in a particularly jovial mood- a bit celebratory. For weeks, I’d been super depressed- lost in the post-breakup haze that always accompanies splitting up with the mate. I knew I would have my bad days here or there, but I didn’t anticipate that it would be so bad. My heart was just wrecked.
Two days ago, in the twilight hours of pre-dawn, I fell on the bedroom floor and just wailed. I hadn’t let myself cry after Josh left (except for once) and finally, the damn burst; I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I cried and cried and prayed and really just got all of the ick out. I read Isaiah 26 (out loud) and really felt the Lord there in the room with me. After I anointed myself and finished reading the Bible, the cloud passed over me; I could feel it lifting physically, not just in my spirit, and afterwards I felt so light. The chains fell off of me and it’s been that way since. The heartbreak and sorrow were just too heavy for me and I knew that I wouldn’t make any type of progress until I let it all out, and let it all go.
So I did. It’s funny…to the hungry, desperate soul, even bitterness is sweet, and I was just soooo desperate to feel Jesus’ love. My heart has been restocked with sweet love and I feel a warm glow swimming around inside.
I have one of these too. >>>>>>> 🙂
Oh…and these little guys don’t hurt either:
We have two new housemates! Our dog, Chance, is crazy about them: He gives them baths and is a great guard dog. Brianna named the male kitty Virgil (from Dante’s Inferno), and Brian named the female Do Re Mi Fa So La To Do, but we call her Doey for short.
They’re absolutely adorable and I’m madly in love with them.
(Time to hit the hay.)
night morning, world.
“With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early.” -Isaiah 26: 9
…who are just finishing up your semesters- students and teachers alike- congratz to you!
And although I’m bowing out of the academic race to pursue my photography/art, I do hope that each of you continues to do well in your studies and teachings. All of my final grades are in and it’s going to be a close call, but I think I might’ve made the Dean’s List. More on that later.
Maggie, congratzs to you, and Y, you too. WE DID IT. 🙂
So Josh and I decided that we would spend the afternoon out doing something spontaneous and adventurous. Before I became a school drone, I used to go out and take pictures of abandoned buildings (and get cussed at and threatened and lots of times the police were involved) and stuff. So, we wanted to go and do new things today. The weather was absolutely stunning and what better place to go than to a winery in the country?
It was a bit past five and they closed at six so we blazed a path to Huber’s Orchard. This story just wouldn’t be typical if some type of cussing weren’t involved- that’s usually what happens when you’re minding your own business with your camera. Josh and I had bought two bottles of fresh wine: Peach, and Catawba Rose (the latter being our favourite). So we’d had a small cup each, and I parked my car on the side of the pumpkin patch and hopped out for a quick shot as we were leaving. I walked over to the edge of the road- close to our Rodeo/vehicle- and laid down on my belly to get a worm’s eye view of a bashed open pumpkin. Lo and behold, just above my camera view, a hayride truck was coming our way and I pointed my camera toward it as it approached us for a quick shot.
The driver yells at me, “The field is closed!” He’d slowed down to a complete stop with 15 people or so, all sitting on the back. He thought I was picking pumpkins. So I hopped up (literally, I hopped) and hopped again 3 big leaps (like a bunny rabbit) over to the actual road, and yelled, “I’m not in the field now!” I was actually laughing because I thought it was all a bit silly.
He looked at me, sort of quizzically, and drove off. That should’ve been the end of that. I wasn’t breaking any rules. But no. No. No. No. A sassy-mouthed broad had to say- loud enough for me to here her- “I would have to slap that girl.”
And so I flipped her off (naturally) and replied, “Here ya go, slap that!”
And that was the end of that.
But here’s some pics from the rest of the afternoon: warm country air, a lazy Sunday afternoon, a really beautiful man and some good fall wine. It really doesn’t get much better. 🙂
Carl Zeiss Jena Flektogon 35/2.8 film lens/natural lighting/Canon Rebel XSI
Fresh sunflowers from my guy…
I’m starting to feel the stress of midterms; two if which are due by Monday. I made my guys (Josh and Brian) a delicious supper of oven-roasted turkey, polenta squares, fresh collard greens, shells-n-cheddar, over-sized baked yams, green onions w/sliced grape tomatoes + lemon ginger tea for Josh and Honey Vanilla Chamomile for Brian- along with freshly made cinnamon rolls. I love my guys! I hear them laughing as they play Gary’s Mod. in the living room: I’m very happy. 🙂
I have a massive Excel assignment due in my Research Methods class (where we’ll be working with Analyses of Sample Demographics) which I was supposed to already have started on, another research topic proposal due in my Cross-Cultural Communications class, and worst of all, I’m supposed to take my midterm in Everyday Psychology- but get this: it’s 132 multiple choice questions + short essay and we only have 1 hour and 15 minutes- for a 132 question exam! That’s sheer insanity. I don’t think my professor has any idea what he’s asking. There’s just no way to accomplish a 132 question psychology exam in 75 minutes. It’s not even a realistic expectation. I’ve written him and asked him to change the allotted time to at least two hours. At this point, I still have a 100% (A) in the class, but after an exam like that, I could drop a whole letter grade. Short essay too? That’s insane!
Still, I’m in good spirits and am feeling content and relaxed. I’m still holding on to my strong A’s in 3 of my classes and am trying hard to recover my grade in Ethics. I’m fighting to keep my B; it’s a really difficult course. It’s my first semester at my new university and I’m really fighting hard to make the Dean’s List! I won’t know for a bit yet, but I’ve been on the Dean’s List at both my other schools (Ivy Tech and Vincennes University) and although this school is much harder, I’m putting my best foot forward and am working really hard this semester.
I miss the really deep, introspective writing that I’m used to; I just don’t have time to do that these days! My days are flying by and already, we’re getting ready to kiss this year goodbye. Time to fold the clothes and watch Intervention.
Flowers in Kentucky/Bluegrass state- Carl Zeiss Jena Flektogon 35/2.8(film)/natural lighting/all manual