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The Crucified Way

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Never in a million years did I think I’d live to see the day when my Church would be divided. It happens to many churches. There are differences in opinions, feelings, ideologies, and ultimately, beliefs. So, church members branch off so that all people might feel included and have a place to go or belong. It doesn’t make the people who left “wrong” and it doesn’t make the people who stay in the original church “right”. Each person must decide for him or herself what is best in their lives.

I was born into a family of Pentecostals. My Church is Christ Gospel (Headquarters) and my Pastor is Rev. B. R. Hicks. She’s getting up there in years (in her 90’s) but she’s got plenty of fire left! 🙂 I consider her my spiritual mother and owe her a great deal; I always will. I was raised in duality, however: when I lived with my Mom, I went to prayer meetings twice per week and church four times per week. We didn’t have a t.v.- didn’t wear make-up, pants, etc. (skirts/dresses only), and lived a pretty clean life, to say the least. (I remember once, becoming heavily convicted at 14 because I was reading “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Yep!)  When I lived with my Dad, however, it was AC/DC, loads of whiskey, beer, and pot, and I had free reign of my life. I was perpetually bouncing back and forth between my parents throughout my adolescence and I was the only one of my siblings who did. Both sides- the spiritual world and the carnal world- were well developed within me. I’ll always be grateful for that. Had I been raised “only in church”, I would have felt inadequate, or as if I were a perpetual sinner and could never measure up to my cohorts and peers. Had I been raised “without God/church” (only) I’m sure I’d be dead by now, as I’m rebellious by nature and like to live life on the edge. Having both sides has allowed me to “sin with the sinners and sup with the saints”, as it were. What it’s also allowed me to do is get to know people from all walks of life- judging no one.
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There’s a saying in my church that we call “the Crucified Way”. It’s choosing to focus on Jesus’ crucifixion and believing that all things go back to that: the Cross. As Christians, we pray and ask God to “crucify our flesh” so that our own carnal pride will become crucified- transformed- and cleansed so that rather than making something “about ourselves”, we make it about Jesus and His will. It’s no secret that we’re living in a self-fulfilling, hedonistic world where it’s all about “gaining followers”. I think though, we can become lost, chasing after a hollow goal if we’re not purpose-driven and sanctified- seeing the world through anointed “holy” eyes. Without that, it’s too easy to get caught up in “self” and “status” and “followers” and “likes” and on and on and on. But we all do it, no matter how clean we think we are- we all do it.
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But back to the matter at hand! Recently, my Church has become divided. Bro. Bill Hudson (whom I really like a lot) started a separate church and many people have left our home Church to join his. They call it “Return Ministries”. Keep in mind, I, myself haven’t been to an actual Church (building) in quite some time- but that has no bearing on my feelings and beliefs. I love my church- Christ Gospel- and always will. Whether I’m actually “attending the building” doesn’t add to or take away from my walk with Jesus- one bit.

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I love my Pastor very much because she’s taught me what it means to forgive and to love, truly. I’ll never forget what she said one day, “You can’t love people from a distance.” In other words, you have to “get your hands dirty”. DO something to show people you love them. Help them clean their house, give them food or a ride to the store- HELP them! Don’t merely say a hypocritical prayer that “God will help them or bless them” and leave them out in the cold…
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It’s because of my Pastor that I was able to forgive my offenders – 100%- and find healing in my life. She’s lived by example and has poured out her heart, soul, time and her very life to help other people (like myself), and I’ll always be indebted to her for that.

There are a lot of lies on the internet about her, and there are people who have set out to destroy her her whole life. But just as the Bible says, “The servant is not above his Master,” and just as they tried to twist Jesus’ words, they twist hers too and try to make her out to be all sorts of things she is not.

I’m only one person with once voice. But consider this (part of) my testimony and that I have learned from Rev. Hicks how to love, forgive, overcome, how to give to others selflessly, how to actually give thanks to God for hard times, and how to take my eyes off of myself and put them on Jesus. She’s an awesome person, in general, but she’s an incredibly awesome woman. 

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What I love most about her, though, is her refusal to “go with the flow”. She stands on what is in the Bible- 100%. In 2015- that offends a lot of people. People want conformity and change. Under pressure, Moses struck the rock (in the wilderness) so that the people would have water, but he struck it out of fear and to silence them. He didn’t strike the rock because God wanted him to. He did it because the people moved him to do it- but it wasn’t God’s will. He “went with the flow” so there wouldn’t be an uprising.

Rev. Hicks doesn’t “go with the flow to silence the masses”, and again, that’s one of the things that I love her for the most. People blame her for their own unhappiness, but if we don’t give others credit for our success, why should we blame them for our misery?

The single greatest thing I’ve ever learned from Rev. Hicks is this: “Nobody can push your buttons unless you allow them to.”

That statement literally changed my life. We each have the power and ability to choose LOVE. To choose peace. And to choose forgiveness. I’ll forever hold these precious lessons close to my heart, and I’ll forever be grateful for what Rev. Hicks has taught me. ♥

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New Digs

My new house. 🤗

<3

Incoming: Embracing the Whites.

It’s happening. I absolutely love my white hair that’s coming in.

Fresh Start

I can’t believe I’ve had this blog for 12 years. When I first started blogging, I was toying with the idea of going back to school. Now, 12 years and 4 degrees later, I’m an Addiction Counselor and….

I just got a house! It’s a 3 BR for $1,090 per month- that’s a steal in today’s economy. Huge yard with a large kitchen- I love it. I gave up my home owner’s status to go to renter’s status, but it’s worth it to me to have a house. Life is good!

My new house. 🤗

Apart from that not much to update. Josh and I will remain best friends, of course- that’ll probably never change. I’m excited for us both though. After 18 long years, we’re going our own ways to both start fresh in life. He’ll probably end up with a kid or two and hopefully, a good woman. It’s time to carve out my OWN life. Brian (my son) and I will be living together; super excited.

I legit couldn’t ask for anything more in life right now. ❤️

My Beautiful Man

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My Beautiful Mother

❤️🌼❤️

Taken 3/13/24 💕

Fresh Air

Aka: stranded at an abandoned complex after determining the round trip walk was 4 miles in the cold- thank God for LYFT. And satellite.

Coolest. Office. Ever.

That’s my waterfall trickling in the background. 😎

Another Great Day at the Office

GRATITUDE. ❤️

I absolutely love being an Addiction Counselor AND an advocate for positive mental health.

V- Day ❤️

Valentine’s Day with my Mom. 🤗😘❤️

Olive Garden.

Besties ❤️

My best friend in the whole world. ❤️ Love my Mama! (Taken today.)

About last night:

Kaiju’s bar with Japanese food/iPhone 15 Plus

Louisville, Kentucky

It sounded so glamorous to both Josh I to go out and have a few drinks at Kaiju’s, but neither one of us were vibing. It was sort of meh, when put into practice, so we had one drink each and went home to our digital devices. 😅

Got a cool ass shot out of the deal though.

Sick Day

I’ve been sick for two weeks now. Went to two different hospitals: Bronchitis & The flu (A). My chest is still pretty congested, despite the Dayquil & breathing treatment. I went back to work 4 days ago (because I had to), but I’m still pretty sick. Spending the day watching True Crime (Charles Starkweather & Caril Fugate’s killing spree in the ’50’s.)

Nothing new to report. My job is going great, life is great, all is well. Can’t complain. 😎

Microbial Bugs and Other Atrocious Things

So I went to the 2nd hospital in 4 days this morning: just in! Bronchitis & The Flu. Ouch. I want to be back to work by Thursday, dadgummit. Thankfully, there are two other therapists that can take my clients for a few days but I’m chomping at the bit to get back to work! But I mean, I’m not entirely complaining about lounging in my PJ’s watching movies with my snacks- life could be worse!

For now, that’s all I got. Must get back to my show. Josh’ll be home soon and will make me a Hot Toddy. 😎 😁 😎🤒🤧

Hot Toddy Time

Just got back from the hospital last night. Upper Respiratory Infection. My lungs feel like they’re full of glass.

Last night was an utter train wreck. Two words: Over Flow- Clark Memorial Hospital. Because of a previous MISdiagnosis from 30 years ago (BP I) , I was sent to the Behavioral Health section of the ER. Unfortunately, I have a not-so-great history with the place, but instead of being treated like everyone else- with dignity and respect- who walked into the hospital, I was treated as if I had just escaped the 3rd floor- all based on my chart. These are the dangers of stigmatization: Being treated differently based on preconceived assumptions.

I refused to stay back there, as it was highly triggering, so I was taken back to the ER waiting room in which there was nobody left. I sat out there for another 30 minutes and saw people come in and get a bed before me- over and over- yet I was left out in the waiting room for almost an hour. I finally had to ask for a “normal bed” in the “normal ER” section; by which they accommodated me, but not without the nurse going into a spiel about why they did that to me- yada yada- it was just waaaay too much drama for me. Can I not just go and have my chest x rayed like everyone else? I really wasn’t in the mood for hearing about why they’d just completely discriminated against me, so he left, and then another nurse entered the room. I could see by her face that she was excited by this new bit of flare in her day- it must’ve been terribly exciting for her…

…and sure enough, within only a moment, she was talking about how she’d “heard that I got my bed jacked around”. Need I say all of this was highly unprofessional? The stigmatization continues! But now we have its cousins patronizing and placating too. I had told her that I really didn’t want to talk about it, shutting her down immediately. Or so I thought. But no! On she went about why I “Shouldn’t take it personally…” completely disrespecting my request to not speak or hear about the situation again, mutilating patient rights AND “care”- and I use that term ridiculously loosely.

Clark Memorial Hospital is a joke. If you want decent patient care, go to Floyd.