Cold. Hard. Refreshing.
That’s what my mike’s hard cranberry lemonade says on the label and I believe ’em.
So, let’s move right along to more interesting things like death.
Death. Death. Death.
I tell you, I’m not fixated on it or anything, but I found out that my cerebral arachnoid cyst that is rebelliously attached to my brain stem has grown to the vulgar size of three centimeters. That’s the size of a golf ball. I’m not altogether jovial about that. I went to the doctor several days ago to find out, abruptly, that I have no medical insurance. Suddenly, after over a decade of having Medicaid, kersmack- it’s gone! Well, it was just bad timing. I was filling out the new patient form at the neurologist and the receptionist had made some calls.
What had happened was, my X decided that he wanted to try Humana’s insurance. He discovered, after a very short time, that he couldn’t afford it and aborted the prospect. It was, however, enough to raise a red flag within the child support system. It is of their belief, that if he can afford Humana insurance no matter how short of time (and he cannot), then he can do the same for his two children. (Again, he cannot.)
My x and I have joint custody. Even so, he’s ordered to pay $50 per week for my two teens, seeing how they reside with me the majority of the time. Fair enough. But when he tried out Humana’s insurance, they cut off my Medicaid, along with the children’s.
Now, there’s no point in playing the victim and explaining my golf ball cyst to total strangers on the telephone that are bound by government agencies, stipulations, protocol, and other trivial unfortunates. I simply went down to the child support division with nothing more than my disapproving look and convincing argument, and believe me, I have the gift of salesmanship and know how to sell somebody their own shoes. While they’re on their feet.
No picture ID or anything!
I explained the situation to the child support division: they had begun to dock my poor ex.’s wages for $80 per week! The court order said he was only to pay $50 per week. I ask you, how in the (blankety blank) are they allowed to jack up the amount outside of an attorney and the law and everything?! It’s just not right, and I tell you, I feel sorry for the Dads out there in the world who are getting socked in the back with this kind of crap. It’s utter BS, and I know a good many moms who would think the dads’ plights their sudden fortunes, but if somebody slaps you upside the head with a bag of $80 in coins, and leaves you lying in a bloody mess on the ground, are you going to rejoice because you’re $80 richer, or seek justice because you’ve been assaulted by something you didn’t ask for?
I suppose that answer would lie in the hearts and motives of the recipients.
I decided to fight the system and shine the better light on my x. He is no Santa Claus, and he’s no “hero dad”, but he is a good dad who loves his children. I told the child support system to give me the papers to sign to close out the case, and I signed them.
The state worker said,” Now, I do need to inform you that once you sign this paper, we won’t be able to help you for the next year, even if you DO want our help.”
I signed the papers without hesitation. She then reported that she would stop garnishing his wages and that they wouldn’t intercept his tax check.
The children are with their dads right now, spending a great weekend with him at their grandmothers. He was so very happy and relieved by the papers that I gave him yesterday.
It’s a small victory against the system of “abusing children for custodial parents’ gain” and it’s a huge victory for keeping such an evil system out of our personal lives.
We made the children by ourselves.
We can raise them, though apart, amicably, for the safety and mental health of our children.
There are too many bitter mothers out there with a death wish against their x, that poison their children against the “absentee parent” for revenge. It’s child abuse- straight up. Plain and simple. Don’t dress it up- call it what it is!
Then they tell their kids how bad the “absent parent” is. It’s sick.
And a good many moms (and foster moms, for that matter) out there need to be ashamed of themselves. Pouring hatred into their children, year after year, while gloating about it to their ex., and plenty of men end up bitter against women for it. Am I supporting the men? Absolutely. Am I accusing the moms who do that? Absolutely. Yeah, I’m on a tangent. I don’t go on one often. But so many children end up destroyed because of the parents’ custody-wars.
My x and I have been divorced for over five years. We do not always like each other, but for the kids’ sake, we remain peaceful, amicable, and demonstratively communicable.
It really is cut and dried. Parents, if you love your children, and you are separated or divorced from your x- stop killing your childrens’ hearts with your hatred against the other parent. And if you are guilty of doing so, then I hope you can see your errors and have genuine conviction and make the choice to not do so any more.
Give you kids a fighting chance in this world.
[J- in the abandoned warehouse. New Albany, Indiana]