photographer. artist. author. singer. songwriter. musician. teacher. student. humanitarian. visionary.

Glutton for Punishment

By now, I’m guessing that I like to take on far more than I can handle. I like the pressure and I like to be challenged. I added two more classes to my course load (Earth Science and Health Psychology), as if Public Speaking and Pre-Calculus weren’t enough. It will be an interesting semester for sure.

If all goes well, I’ll be able to intern this summer at a substance abuse clinic (or behavioral health facility) and possibly graduate before the fall semester, where I’ll return to work on my bachelor’s in Sociology. Perhaps I’ll minor in Criminal Justice, but I’m not sure yet. 

I don’t want to fit into a little box and do what everybody else does, I know that. I want to specialize in particular areas and develop programs and such. We’ll see where the road leads. People don’t understand why I don’t want to use my talents (singing, composing music, etc.) in a bigger way, such as- on a stage. But I have no desire to ever “be famous” – it’s sickening what the world does to people, and what they allow to be done to them. Famous people have almost no rights! They’re not allowed to speak freely- lest they lose “fans”- they’re not allowed to do what they like when it’s all said and done. They sign a contract, and they’re bought and owned, no longer freely their own person. There’s nothing attractive about that to me- not for all the money in the world. 

Besides, people want to worship other people, and there are some that love to be worshipped with lots of “followers”. Gag.
It all sickens me…

I like what Jesus said, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” 

That’s part of the reason I despise Facebook and Twitter so much. People feel the need to tell the world what they’re doing 24/7. (Get over yourself already!) I call it being “Facebook Famous”- and there are millions of wannabees. 

The world seems full of marshmallow people these days, blowing powdered sugar up each others’…noses. Flattery…super-sweet cynicism with an extra batch of exclamation points. They leave their calling card “great shot!” (etc. etc.) and few really take the time to actually “comment” on things these days, or critique something with heart. What are they after? I will tell you. They want to be noticed. Simple as that. “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.” So they go around, commenting (in two or three words “drive-by comments”) or better yet (note the sarcasm) they’ll simply press the “like” button and hope that they’ll receive a reciprocal “like” and perhaps gain a new “follower”. It all just makes my stomach turn. 

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with following a blog. I do follow a couple myself. I just really can’t stand the whole “I have 1,565 Facebook friends and 500 people are “following me!!” <<<< Take a freaking leap off of a cliff already and swim in the sea of reality for a while. Shut your internet down for a month or two- get away from everybody in the world- and just sit among the trees- listen to the wind and do some soul searching. The superficiality of social networking has really gotten on my last nerve, along with the egos of all who devour it.

I think I’m done with my rant…

Heidi2

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11 responses

  1. I have found that sometimes when i thoughtfully comment on someone’s anything online that they are surprisingly quick to take offense and never want to engage in dialogue. It seems that many people want to sugar-coating and fluff– at least online. I really like last photo. Something about the blurring, and the colour, and the perspective…

    January 12, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    • Yes, I think the syrrup that people have grown accustomed to (particularly online) has given them a false sense of themselves and that “everybody loves me and thinks I’m great!!” (etc. etc.) so when he or she is met with a less than gushing exchange, they grow suspicious and think it to be an unkindness, when in fact, it’s just “real”. (I’m finding that I have a low tolerance for BS these days, and I’ve grown tired of all of the fame whores; they seem to be everwhere.) That pic was taken with a Lensbaby Composer Pro(lens) – I’ve been without that particular lens for a year now- ouch. The blur and effects are in-camera. That lens pulls the sides of the frames outward and makes everything dramatic and crazy around the edges. It’s my favourite lens ever and I’m hoping to get another soon. (Fingers crossed.)

      January 12, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      • I suddenly find myself saying a prayer that you will get one soon.

        January 12, 2013 at 4:15 pm

      • Aww, thanks! I hope so.

        January 12, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    • Joycelyn, thank you so much. 🙂 I truly believe that you’re a shining (i) star, flooding the world with your joy. The world needs me people like you. You rock. 🙂 xo

      January 13, 2013 at 12:16 am

  2. It’s so nice that someone doesn’t want to be famous I sometimes feel as if the whole world wants to be Kim Kardashian. Great pictures.

    January 13, 2013 at 4:06 am

    • If I have to see that woman’s butt one more time, I swear I’ll throw myself headfirst into traffic. Glad to see that there are others who share my sentiment, Helen. Pleasure to meet you, by the way.

      January 13, 2013 at 2:31 pm

  3. Liquid Lucid

    That Jesus quote is so wise….! – and fits in well with your point here.
    Those two railway photos are hauntingly beautiful! But okay from what I´ve seen, all your photos are.

    February 24, 2013 at 8:22 am

    • Yeah, I love that quote- I love that He was all about deliberately trying to be “unfamous”. I totally get it. And yeah, that Lensbaby lens is amazing. I used to see peoples’ pics that were haunting- in a very cool way- and I wondered how they got the sides of their frames to be all distorted and stretched/blurred. I felt that that particular style represented exactly how I viewed the world sometimes- not as “distorted”, but having the ability to see the world or “the system of the world” as it actually is. (I think the world, as in “creation and mankind” is beautiful, but the “system of man” corrupts it…etc.) I thought people were doing it in Photoshop (not corrupting the world, but stretching and bending their photo’s perspectives…heheh.) , so when I found out that it was in-camera, I flipped! I knew I had to get that lens no matter what, so I could express myself to the best of my ability. There’s nothing like shooting with the Lensbaby- so freaking awesome. 🙂 I think you’d do really well with one- it would greatly compliment your unique vintage/rebel style I think.

      February 24, 2013 at 8:09 pm

      • Liquid Lucid

        LOL ; corrupting the world through photoshop XD
        Yeah I basically need to get a proper camera, and then I should get that lens !

        February 26, 2013 at 5:30 pm

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