photographer. artist. author. singer. songwriter. musician. teacher. student. humanitarian. visionary.

Photo Therapy (part 3)

There is a heck of a lot of chaos going on behind the scenes in my family right now, and I don’t mean my immediate family (altogether), but outside of my four walls. I live an interesting life for sure. Because of my walk that I’ve walked, there are those few family members that will always want to dig up bones in my graveyard.

I say go dig your own graveyard and leave my bones alone. I’ve made peace with much of what’s happened to me in my life. Some things, caused by my own stupidity- others, caused by those who cannot let go of their pasts. Sadly, I know many people who live in their pasts. It’s true that I rarely visit mine. I have memories, sure. Good ones, and lots of them. But I don’t hang on to the things that hurt me, and I certainly don’t invite others to a bitter banquet so they can feast on my rags. I’ve given all my rags away, to people who are much worse off than me.

I really do not understand how people can think they’ve got it so bad. And if you think I haven’t lived through some wicked stuff, you can read my Bio. We all go through trauma, disease, famine, humiliation, and other facts of life, but to grovel in a pool of your own vomit, and to stay in it by choice, so that others can pity you?

Moving on. I’ve sadly had to block several of my family members (again) because they simply cannot stop hating. Hate! Hate! Hate! It blows my mind.

I blocked them because I believe you have to put the negativity out of your life. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. But you don’t have to sit down and have tea with it either. I take my cue from Jesus, yet again. He was asked to come to the house of distraught parents. Their daughter had died. When He came to them, He told them that she was only sleeping. (I love that part.) They laughed him to scorn, the Bible says. Can you imagine? People wailing and grieving and seriously hurting, and then there are those who take pleasure to mock and laugh at such a time.

What did he do? He didn’t tolerate it one bit. That’s what. He tossed them out of the house, and he “shut the door”. I know when to shut my door. It may seem that I’m angry, but don’t mistake my strong stand in life for anger- I am grounded, completely, and pretty unshakable in my faith.

I have to regroup quickly when people are gnashing on me so viciously. I’m only human. Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I don’t have anger and all of those other things. If you punch me in my face, I may punch you back and just say I’ll repent later. I’m still working on that “turning the other cheek” thing. 

But on that note, I do know when to walk away from people who claim this or that, but cannot stop devouring you. I do know how to shut my door- Jesus taught me that one.

When I feel these things in my life, I choose to do things that are constructive. It does no good to sit around and stew in it, and really, you have to act quickly, because rage is like a cancer. It will eat away at every cell of your soul, and it feels so good to pay them back, but you’re only hurting yourself in the end. Every arrow that flies out returns to you. Make sure you send good arrows.

I choose photography. When I go out into a scene, I compose my surroundings. Photography forces me to change the way I see the world. I have to choose a focal point. (That takes your mind off of the wrong focal point.) No matter what you’re feeling, you can go out and capture a view of the world that is altogether different than the way you feel.

Bitter people chewing on my back has been my catalyst for change many times, to do good for others. It gets me out of that dark place, and pushes me toward my art- singing, writing songs, playing my guitar/keyboard and, photography- all of which allow me to see and feel beauty. I can choose to be happy, no matter what.

And so I am. 🙂

I’m not one to toss around rose petals (like Joel Osteen, no offense to him, love him truly, but he’s happy like…….10000% of the time. Sorry Joe, my car breaks down routinely and we’re scrimping for toilet paper half the time- it’s REAL up in this household if ya know what I mean…).

And so, I take pictures. Not in spite of, but because of all of the family chaos lately, I went out and shot this sunset. I’ve never been a landscape photographer and I’ve never been fond of “sunset shots”. It’s not that they’re not beautiful, I’ve never had the necessary growth as an artist to appreciate them, that’s all. I do now.

Image

Who knew that the cruelty of my enemies would be the very thing to help me see beauty?
Thank you enemies.

And that is how I turn things around.

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6 responses

  1. I love this!!! I love how you mention that you get angry and aren’t happy (like Joel) 1000000% of the time. Its so real and genuine 🙂 I struggle with that. I WANT to be happy and positive ALL the time, but I find it difficult in certain circumstances (like scraping for toilet paper). Your phototherapy is brilliant…on so many levels! But, mostly, it sounds like you have found something that works for you, and I feel like anyone being able to find something that works for them is incredibly insightful! I just love how you portray photography as a new way to “see” things (I’ve never thought of it that way before!!), AND, how enemies can actually influence something beautiful! Awesome perspective!!! 🙂

    February 9, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    • Hey, thanks so much, Lucky, for YOUR insight, and feedback. So you’ve studied Psychology too- impressive. 🙂 I don’t know if that actually helps us or rattles our marbles around…heheh.. and yeah, if it weren’t for my own photo-therapy, I’d be a total wreck. My objective (eventually) is to develop an actual “Photo Therapy” program for kids, teens, and the like, so they can learn how to express themselves in a healthier way other than cutting, etc. It’s a powerful thing to be able to express yourself “healthily”, you know? Especially when it’s shared. Since many kids/teens can’t open up, this would give them the ability to take control over their environments, instead of it being the other way around, and turn the tables on their disorders. Thanks again for popping in here, but mostly for leaving REAL COMMENTS. That goes a long way with me. 😉

      February 10, 2013 at 6:06 pm

  2. That’s a beautiful photograph! you have such a good point about rage being like a cancer that eats away at you. I’ve been trying to work on forgiveness from things my parents did to me for a long long time. It really is a process but I have chosen to keep my mother out of my life. Because like you said, you have to know when to shut that door. It’s important at the end of the day to love and care for yourself more. The right choice is not always the easy one. I think it’s wonderful you can find peace through photography. Even though your not into landscapes you should take more because that picture is fantastic.

    February 10, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    • M&M, thanks so much for taking the time to comment with a heartfelt reply, but also for sharing your own personal family experience. That’s not always easy! In the supersonic, lightning speed, technologically busy world we all live in, it’s so much easier to simply press the LIKE button and move on. It means a lot to me when someone takes the time to write out a thoughtful response. I like deep thinkers. 🙂 So thanks again, so much, and thanks for inspiring me to take more sunset pics. (Geh- did I really just say that?!) 😉 And yes, forgiving our parents is so very hard sometimes- I know. As much as it’s painful to separate yourself, sometimes, that’s the only way to bring peace to the situation. It doesn’t mean it’s permanent, you know? But a relationship is a two way street, and both parties need to have a measure of humility for there to be a successful reconciliation. It’s only because of wounded pride anyway that we can’t say we’re sorry, and there are those that will choose to embrace that hatred unless you grovel at their feet. (In that situation, nothing will please them. ) We can forgive, for our own sake also, but it’s definitely time to part ways for a while in that case- if even for just a season. I hope things are eventually resolved between you and your mom, and I feel for you because I do know how hard it is. Hang in there. xo

      February 10, 2013 at 8:40 pm

  3. Pingback: Photo Therapy (part 3) « muffins&mocha

  4. Pingback: Very Inspirational Blog Award & Nominees « muffins&mocha

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