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Praying Down the Rain

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“Oh my goodness, I have a screaming migraine and it’s that time of the month. Is there anything else worse than that for a woman?” I asked.

“Is there anything worse than that for a man?!” Josh answered.

He has a valid point.
I knew it was too good to be true that I wouldn’t get a migraine, especially after mentioning it only yesterday. I awoke this morning with a skull-crushing migraine. it’s 1:15 a.m. and it’s now been almost 24 hours (straight) that I’ve had this. And that’s with pain medication. After several years of battling these things, you really do learn to live with them. I shop, cook, clean, write, do schoolwork- I do everything with a migraine and there really are no words to describe the pain. “Intense” just doesn’t do it and keep in mind that I chose to give birth to 3 children “naturally”, so I would know a thing or two about serious pain. This pain is far worse than childbirth. I didn’t cry or scream when I gave birth to my children. I went in like a soldier- no baby stuff! (Well, ok, “baby stuff” but no “sissy stuff”.) When I delivered my oldest daughter, Heidi, the woman down the hall was screaming her head off. I politely asked the nurse to ask her if she could be a bit quieter because she was distracting me. (Yep, true story, I’m afraid.)

My point is that I believe in “mind over matter”. I went in believing I could control my own pain during childbirth and I certainly did, or at least I psyched myself out to believe that I didn’t have to yell or scream or fall apart during it. (It worked.) So yes, I can take some massive pain. These migraines are no joke! I cry. Lots. I can’t liken it to any other pain I’ve ever known. Because this kind of pain comes with nausea, so it’s not enough that you feel as if your head is being sawn in half (from the back) but also, you get the added benefits of feeling like you’re going to barf continuously. Without ceasing. For 24 and 48 hours straight. It’s there when you go to sleep and it’s there when you wake up and it turns your dreams into night terrors.

Barfing and babies and pain and stuff really does have something to do with praying down the rain. That’s coming up.

In all of this pain, I can be grateful that my prayers were answered. I was in the kitchen yesterday and was so hot and miserable. I said a little prayer: “God, please let it cool down. Send the rain, Lord,” I said. And that was it. No big prayer meeting. It was said in one breath and with little after thought.

I woke up this morning and immediately was surprised. It was almost cold in the room! I looked out the window and the sky was grey and congested. My prayers had been answered, speedily. But it seems I traded in my “speed dial” prayer for a heavy dose of pain. I got the cool air and the rain, but my head was a total mess.

I remember a time when it was raining torrentially and Josh and I were helping a friend move. I was in a pickup truck and there was nobody around.

“God, could you hold off the rain so we can get this stuff moved?” I asked.

It didn’t rain for almost two months afterwards. We had one of the biggest droughts we’d had in years. And another time, I was walking home with a few bags of groceries. Not sure what the car story (or lack of it) was at the time, I just remember walking about a mile or so in the rain. No picnic.

“Lord, please make the rain stop.” And that was all I said. It stopped within the next 2 minutes. I could hardly believe it.

So yes. Now we have rain.
My head is screaming so badly at the moment. I have to go and lie down. The pain is reaching the “maddening” stage and I feel like I could smash glass. 24 hours of relentless pain is right up there with torture. I’m simply exhausted.

The peppermint tea is a small comfort.
Josh made homemade chicken soup.
That was a huge comfort.

🙂

Time to collapse.

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4 responses

  1. I certainly would not be able to function as well as you do with all that pain. I used to get terrible headaches that turned my stomach. I always felt better after throwing up.

    June 2, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    • They’re called “suicide headaches” for a reason. Years ago, when medicine was in its infancy, people would commit suicide because the pain was so great. (Personally, I think a contributing factor was the Depression era and hopelessness in general.) But I’ve grown accustomed to working through the pain. I’ve had to write essays and do research/calculus and all kinds of things with a 3 day migraine before- quite a few times. (I haven’t had an academic break in almost 3 years, so I’ve worked through many debilitating migraines to meet my deadlines.)

      The good side to it all is that it’s taught me endurance. And if I can work through this kind of pain that lasts for 2 and 3 days, then I can carry on (in general) through practically anything. (No picnic though!)

      June 2, 2013 at 3:37 pm

  2. I’m really sorry to hear that you have awful migraines 😦 how miserable!!! It’s even worse when medication doesn’t help. I had a friend who suffered from them due to her jaw locking up on her. I forget the name of her condition but know the migraines effected her quality of life. Are the migraines coming from cyst in your head or from stress? Isn’t it weird how when whether is bad, people’s pain is worse! I don’t know why that is either. Believe it or not I’ve never had peppermint tea. Chicken soup is all I want though when I feel bad . Hope you start feeling better soon! I wanted to share with you the link I am putting all photos on at http://www.jennylauraphotography.wordpress.com . I was unsure if you had it yet? Specifically the Windmill Sky photo. I totally used a different placement for this photograph of the main subject but think it turned out cool looking! I’m working on not centering my photos as much. If you have any feedback that would be awesome ❤ coming home tomorrow from Florida. Thank goodness!

    June 5, 2013 at 1:59 am

    • Yeah, I think the bulk of the migraines are caused by the cyst. Of course, a neurologist would disagree, but I would be quick to disagree with him. 😉 I know my own body and cycles of pain and all of my triggers- definitely caused by the cyst. I’ll take a look at your latest pics. Glad you’re back from Florida! xo

      June 7, 2013 at 9:46 pm

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