photographer. artist. author. singer. songwriter. musician. teacher. student. humanitarian. visionary.


Title: “Ghostly”

Click HERE to purchase in Monochromejunkie Ebay store.
(Brand new and under construction. 🙂 )

8 x 10 – $25, Set of 2 – $45
13 x 19 – $55, Set of 2 – $85
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This is for you, Sean.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t find the comfort you so desperately needed in this world.
I’m sorry that the system failed you. (It failed me too, in many ways.)
I’m sorry that the only solution they offered was to shove fistfulls of pills into you.
I’m sorry they convinced you to undergo Electric Shock Therapy.
I’m sorry that you were hurting so badly inside. More than anyone knew.
I’m sorry that you spent your entire life doubting that anyone cared for you.

I can’t accept the fact that you’re really gone.
I found your book on Amazon: Stories of How I End. Which is like your entire blog, pressed into a book. I’ll buy a copy soon, and I’ll do what I can to promote your work.

I will make that promise to you. And I will keep it, friend. I miss you.

I’m sorry. x



4 responses

  1. This is so incredibly sad and poignant….

    On Fri, Oct 18, 2019 at 5:17 PM m o n o c h r o m e j u n k i e † wrote:

    > monochromejunkie posted: “Title: “Ghostly” Click HERE to purchase in > Monochromejunkie Ebay store. (Brand new and under construction. 🙂 8 x 10 – > $25, Set of 2 – $45 13 x 19 – $55, Set of 2 – $85 *Free Shipping This is > for you, Sean. I’m so sorry you couldn’t find the comfort” >

    October 18, 2019 at 5:43 am

    • Yes. My poor friend vanished 15 months ago. He wrote some of the most important, shocking, heartbreaking, vivid, and raw writing I’ve ever read. Like a stream of consciousness made of pure lava with nowhere to go. He had caught a flight to San Francisco shortly before he disappeared. He was going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. In the nick of time, his friend talked him out of it and back to Texas he went. But he wanted to die so badly. It just broke my heart. We emailed for a short time, and I knew I was racing against the clock! I felt like my words were invisible and stupid and self-serving somehow. I just wanted to try and talk him into sticking around, you know? I literally begged him not to begin ECT treatments. I had an Aunt who received ECT “therapy” for years- a walking vegetable- virtually erased. She roamed the halls of an asylum- like a ghost- until she died. Anyway, love, I hope you’re doing well today! Tonight? 🙂 It’s painful to look deeply into this subject. God knows that I’d much rather look the other way sometimes, but it’s a subject that needs examining. Two of my family members were incredibly suicidal (I talked them out of it many times. They died of other causes, but at least it wasn’t suicide!) And now two more are perpetually skating on the fringes of suicide. Ugh…what can you say to somebody who just wants to disappear? I’ll never understand it. I guess because my own life has been so freaking tragic- every breath is another gift from above. Every breath is the winning lottery numbers. Anywho, good seeing you, as always. 😉 My friend Sean, he was such a gifted writer. if you want, stop by his place sometime and give him a read. I’ve never seen such truth in mental health before. I swear he deserves post mortem awards- he was a reluctant trailblazer in the field of mental illness. It’s so freaking tragic that he lost the battle! Love you, Sweetheart! x His place:

      October 18, 2019 at 6:08 am

  2. the books are excellent.

    October 18, 2019 at 8:22 pm

  3. bobo

    He isn’t dead lol. I’ve seen pictures of him on Facebook after this post was written. He’s been talking about killing himself for 30 years. He loves the attention

    October 3, 2022 at 6:53 pm


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