G R O W. H E A L. REJOICE.
I’m pretty excited in my life right now. You’d think I won the lottery with all the fun I’ve been having lately, but no, rather, I broke my foot just over a week ago and won’t be able to return to work (as an Addiction Counselor) for the next 2 months.
The break on my left foot, in the left metatarsal, is completely severed in two:
The Orthopedist told me that it’ll take several months to heal, and that it’s going to “suck” for a long time.
Per the usual, “sucking” is truly a matter of perspective. One man’s suck is another man ‘s paradise, and I choose the latter to revel in.
I have crutches and a cast shoe I’m supposed to wear, but the majority of the time, I do just fine with strategic foot placement when walking (hobbling). I can’t stand fully on my foot with it flat on the ground, yet- I have to keep the left side (surrounding the severed bone) uplifted from the ground, forcing the bulk of my weight onto my heel. It took some getting used to but I’m like Speedy Gonzalez now, zipping around the house and yard- cleaning, cooking, gardening, shopping, and everything else I want to do.
I’ve spent the past week scrubbing the house down (including washing all of the windows)- doing some major deep cleaning…gave the cat and my two dogs a bath last night- had my own shower, made a fine supper, and then took the dogs for a 1/2 mile walk around the neighborhood- yes, with my broken foot!
You won’t see any grass growing under these feet.
I enjoy staying active throughout most days. Today, however, was my day of rest, so I stretched out on my chaise lounge with my remote and immediately fell asleep. (So much for catching a show.)
I absolutely love my new house. It’s my sanctuary. I get a ton of sunlight through my living room and sitting area windows, and in the evenings, I light candles and make tea and listen to the hundreds of bullfrogs all singing in a beautiful chorus; I’ve never been happier in life than I am right now.
I think a big part of that is my betrothal to Jesus. I’ve recently renewed my vows of love with Him; choosing to love Him above all other people in the world- including my own parents/children/ friends- there’s nobody who can compare to Him and His love.
I take my burdens, pains, sorrows, and broken heart to Him in prayer twice per day- once in the morning and again in the evening- to my prayer closet, where I go in to Him and shut the door, and am alone with my Creator- my best friend- the lover of my soul.
Jesus says, in Matthew 11:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
As humans, we tend to carry a lot of emotional and spiritual baggage within us; especially those of us who’ve experienced a lot of trauma in life, such as myself. It can be difficult to adjust our internal filters accurately, due to the damage we’ve suffered.
It’s no different than trying to fill a ziplock bag with water which has 25 jagged holes in the bag. Until the bag is repaired, there’s simply no way it’s going to hold water.
Every person has his and her own set of unique filters in life. Two people can witness the same event but tell two completely different stories- not rooted in *fact*, but based on their personal anecdotal, theoretical, and empirical life experiences.
We paint the canvas the colours based on our own unique experiences- sifting information through our own filters.
When our filters are skewed and damaged as children, we grow up seeing through those lenses. And, truth be told, we all suffer trauma in life. Nobody gets out of that one.
The question is, are we going to learn and grow and heal and share from our wreckage, or are we simply going to become part of the broken furniture, perpetually injured and damaged, sucking up the light from those around us like an eternal abyss?
Love is a choice.
Hate is s choice.
Pain is a choice.
Anger is a choice.
Forgiveness is a choice.
Unforgiveness is a choice.
Healing is a choice.
Bitterness is a choice.
Happiness is a choice.
I thank God, for freeing me from the shackles of hatred and unforgiveness toward others.
I know people, personally, who claim to be Christians- go to Church faithfully- read the Bible, pray- do all of the “righteous” things Christians are supposed to do, but their hearts are full of hatred against someone they refuse to forgive, or love.
Like Jesus said, “Their outsides are whited sepulchures, but their insides are full of dead men’s bones.”
They can iron clothes, get their kids ready, feed their family, go to church, put on a “good Christian show” in front of the entire congregation, thinking they’re a hop, skip, and a jump away from Heaven itself- but the Bible says their entire religion is a lie if they say they love God but hate their brother or sister in Christ.
Sadly, I share blood with some of these hypocrites, and don’t even get me started on their utter hypocrisy.
They’re gonna get a sad wakeup call down the road, when they try to storm Heaven, but are forbidden entrance, all because they chose hate over love..unforgiveness over forgiveness. Revenge over compassion. Giving the cold shoulder rather than a warm heart. Withholding charity rather then giving freely from their hearts.
They done gat me preachin’ up in hih!
But back to Jesus. He says, my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
The yoke He speaks of is no different than the yoke around the neck of cattle. His yoke- his instrument of corralling us into his barns, where there is (spiritual) safety, shelter, food and water- is easy, and His burden is light! Not our own. It is us, as humans, who collect heavy burdens throughout life and drag them around, from one person to the next, and then we wonder why we feel dead inside, and why we’re not experiencing joyful relationships that bear fruit.
It is because we’re shackled by our own yoke- a yoke of our own making, with combinations of blame, resentment, envy, strife, hatred and murder that are locking it in place, around our spiritual necks. But what do some do? They blame other people for that yoke that they made themselves. It’s everybody else’s fault, but never their own. In reality, it is their very mouths who’ve dug pits for their enemies that have slaughtered them. The more they vomit out their hate campaigns to one another, the tighter the noose grows around their own necks.
“Thou art snared by the words of thy mouth, thou art taken by the words of thy mouth.” -Proverbs
But Jesus’ yoke is easy.
And His burden is light.
People completely miss the simplicity of this Scripture!
We’re too caught up trying to free our own yokes from our necks that we fail to understand that we’ve got the wrong yoke on to begin with!
We’re supposed to be wearing Jesus’ yoke.
And we’re too used to carrying around our decades-long, dusty old crumbling burdens that we refuse to acknowledge the truth of this part of the Scripture- where Jesus says- MY burden is light.
We have no business (as Christians) to be dragging our decrepit old ancient burdens around in our lives, and God forbid someone should ask us how we’re doing.
“Oh, you know…I’m hanging in there…” (exhales a heavy sigh)
Wow. What a testimony of Jesus’ healing power.
I love the Scripture that states, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”
There are so many times in the Bible where Jesus tells His disciples- and others- to REJOICE. That’s not a request, but a commandment.
“Rejoice when men shall revile you and say all manner of evil against you for my sake! For great is your reward in Heaven,” He says.
If we’re supposed to rejoice when we’re being persecuted by people- including other Christians- when they’re gnashing on us with their bloody teeth, how much more should we be rejoicing on any given day, no matter how things are going?
These are the principles I live by.
I don’t throw things up here on my blog that I haven’t birthed repeatedly- year in, year out.
This is the secret to my joy.
Notice I didn’t say my happiness.
Happiness is fleeting. It’s emotion-based. It sails in like a balloon, filling the heart, then floats out again, leaving its imprint, echoed by sadness once it’s departed.
But joy!
Joy comes from the Lord. Joy = unadulterated, never-ending happiness.
We don’t have to wait until we get to Heaven (in my case, The New City, mentioned in Revelation) to experience ever-lasting joy!
When I go before the Lord every morning (and again, every evening), on my knees in my secret place– my prayer closet- I shut my door, fall on my face, and give God, and Jesus, what they deserve, which is my praise.
Ru-Ak means “breath”, or “spirit”. It is the very least I can do, as a Christian and follower of Jesus Christ, to offer Him my breath- the very breath He breathed into me to give me life.
My special time in that secret place with the Lord is all about 2 specific things:
1.) Praise
2.) Gratitude
Without gratitude, you’re a dead duck in the water. Gratitude is woven throughout every fiber of my being.
There’s literally nothing I cannot be grateful for. I’ve experienced more hardships than most people will ever have to experience, and can honestly say, I’m grateful for every one. (You can read my BIO tab (at the top of my blog) for more information on that.)
I learned long ago that it doesn’t matter which side of God’s scales we’re on- whether it be the pain side, or the pleasure side- we owe Him our praise and gratitude, regardless. It took years of tragedy, trauma, and gut/wrenching pain for me to realize that no matter my experiences- God is still on the Throne, He’s still God, and He’s still just.
Does the sun not still shine though it’s dark and stormy? Does the sun cease to shine though it’s dark and night?
Just because we don’t see the sun shining during those times doesn’t mean it’s not still there, shining brightly.
So is God.
When I hit my knees to the ground in prayer, I thank Him for everything, including painful experiences. For it’s through the pain that we develop our strong roots. The sunshine is great, it feeds the leafy bits, but it’s the dark, cool soil and the immense pressure therein that cracks the seed’s hull open. And only then does new life begin, as the roots make their way down into the deep, dark earth, so are the prayers and the heart that pours out the pain to the Lord, covered by gratitude for the situation- no matter what I’m going through or experiencing.
The deeper the roots submerge, the richer the water! So is prayer, when the heart pours out its complaints, sorrows, burdens, and troubles before the Lord, offering up gratitude for the pain that we don’t always understand, but trusting that the Lord has already prepared our escape plan- our exit strategy- from the painful situation.
This is truly my secret to remaining joyful in every situation.
The Lord takes the pain- surrounded in gratitude- and draws it into His bosom, converting it into joy, then sends it back down through our conduit of praise.
It’s a transaction. A spiritual transaction.
Pain for joy.
Beauty for Ashes.
The pain is temporary, but the joy is never-ending.
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I started growing a lemon tree today!
I planted some lemon seeds in a silver pail, using organic (indoor) potting soil, along with some basil, and tomatoes. I’ve never tried to grow anything in my life, but I find it cathartic and relaxing to commune with nature, and to have a relationship with plants.
I can’t wait to see my first sprouts!
I love the time it takes for things to grow. For example, a lemon tree doesn’t produce fruit for its first 5-7 years. It’s a waiting game and it’ll certainly work some patience into ya.
I’m having the time of my life right now. 🤗
I’m accomplishing far more with a broken foot than I ever did without one!
I meditate on these two specific Scriptures throughout the day, when I’m working:
“In all labour there is profit, but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.” – Proverbs
And:
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” – Ephesians
As well as:
“I have an unction from the Holy One, and know all things.”
– Unction means anointing. That was one of my Dad’s favourite Scripture’s that he shared with me.
Time for my beloved Wildflower tea with raw honey!
The frogs are singing their nightly song; I can hear them through my windows. Another wonderful day yawns and prepares to sleep…
…and dream.
Yod Hay Vah Hay
Somebody got her first tattoo. 😎 Even my Mother loves it!
In ancient Hebrew, the words Yod Hay Vah Hay represent the Lord’s Secret Name; from the Old Testament. It represents four different classes of love, and is as follows:
Yod = Forgiving Love
Hay = Forgetting Love
Vah = Blameless Love
Hay = Sharing Love
I was absolutely ecstatic to get this very sacred tattoo on my right wrist; and when I saw it, I loved it.
Exceeeeept I noticed that he’d accidentally tattooed the first HAY backwards. I was crushed. I asked God why He’d allowed me to get His Secret Name tattooed on my wrist if it was just going to be messed up?!
He answered: “You’ve forgiven the ones who’ve hurt you the most, but have you FORGOTTEN their crimes against you?”
And then I legit almost fell onto the floor. It was then that I realized true forgiveness = forgetting! To never recall the awful things that others have done to me.
And then I was actually glad that the first HAY (Forgetting Love) was backwards, as I indeed had been backwards in my own forgiveness of others.
Cool story, no? God is so cool in the way He works! He works through situations & people.
Without further adieu, I give you my new tat: Yod Hay Vah Hay- chained about my wrist. (And I got my nose pierced too. 😎)
The Crucified Way
Never in a million years did I think I’d live to see the day when my Church would be divided. It happens to many churches. There are differences in opinions, feelings, ideologies, and ultimately, beliefs. So, church members branch off so that all people might feel included and have a place to go or belong. It doesn’t make the people who left “wrong” and it doesn’t make the people who stay in the original church “right”. Each person must decide for him or herself what is best in their lives.
I was born into a family of Pentecostals. My Church is Christ Gospel (Headquarters) and my Pastor is Rev. B. R. Hicks. She’s getting up there in years (in her 90’s) but she’s got plenty of fire left! 🙂 I consider her my spiritual mother and owe her a great deal; I always will. I was raised in duality, however: when I lived with my Mom, I went to prayer meetings twice per week and church four times per week. We didn’t have a t.v.- didn’t wear make-up, pants, etc. (skirts/dresses only), and lived a pretty clean life, to say the least. (I remember once, becoming heavily convicted at 14 because I was reading “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Yep!) When I lived with my Dad, however, it was AC/DC, loads of whiskey, beer, and pot, and I had free reign of my life. I was perpetually bouncing back and forth between my parents throughout my adolescence and I was the only one of my siblings who did. Both sides- the spiritual world and the carnal world- were well developed within me. I’ll always be grateful for that. Had I been raised “only in church”, I would have felt inadequate, or as if I were a perpetual sinner and could never measure up to my cohorts and peers. Had I been raised “without God/church” (only) I’m sure I’d be dead by now, as I’m rebellious by nature and like to live life on the edge. Having both sides has allowed me to “sin with the sinners and sup with the saints”, as it were. What it’s also allowed me to do is get to know people from all walks of life- judging no one.
There’s a saying in my church that we call “the Crucified Way”. It’s choosing to focus on Jesus’ crucifixion and believing that all things go back to that: the Cross. As Christians, we pray and ask God to “crucify our flesh” so that our own carnal pride will become crucified- transformed- and cleansed so that rather than making something “about ourselves”, we make it about Jesus and His will. It’s no secret that we’re living in a self-fulfilling, hedonistic world where it’s all about “gaining followers”. I think though, we can become lost, chasing after a hollow goal if we’re not purpose-driven and sanctified- seeing the world through anointed “holy” eyes. Without that, it’s too easy to get caught up in “self” and “status” and “followers” and “likes” and on and on and on. But we all do it, no matter how clean we think we are- we all do it.
But back to the matter at hand! Recently, my Church has become divided. Bro. Bill Hudson (whom I really like a lot) started a separate church and many people have left our home Church to join his. They call it “Return Ministries”. Keep in mind, I, myself haven’t been to an actual Church (building) in quite some time- but that has no bearing on my feelings and beliefs. I love my church- Christ Gospel- and always will. Whether I’m actually “attending the building” doesn’t add to or take away from my walk with Jesus- one bit.
I love my Pastor very much because she’s taught me what it means to forgive and to love, truly. I’ll never forget what she said one day, “You can’t love people from a distance.” In other words, you have to “get your hands dirty”. DO something to show people you love them. Help them clean their house, give them food or a ride to the store- HELP them! Don’t merely say a hypocritical prayer that “God will help them or bless them” and leave them out in the cold…
It’s because of my Pastor that I was able to forgive my offenders – 100%- and find healing in my life. She’s lived by example and has poured out her heart, soul, time and her very life to help other people (like myself), and I’ll always be indebted to her for that.
There are a lot of lies on the internet about her, and there are people who have set out to destroy her her whole life. But just as the Bible says, “The servant is not above his Master,” and just as they tried to twist Jesus’ words, they twist hers too and try to make her out to be all sorts of things she is not.
I’m only one person with once voice. But consider this (part of) my testimony and that I have learned from Rev. Hicks how to love, forgive, overcome, how to give to others selflessly, how to actually give thanks to God for hard times, and how to take my eyes off of myself and put them on Jesus. She’s an awesome person, in general, but she’s an incredibly awesome woman.
What I love most about her, though, is her refusal to “go with the flow”. She stands on what is in the Bible- 100%. In 2015- that offends a lot of people. People want conformity and change. Under pressure, Moses struck the rock (in the wilderness) so that the people would have water, but he struck it out of fear and to silence them. He didn’t strike the rock because God wanted him to. He did it because the people moved him to do it- but it wasn’t God’s will. He “went with the flow” so there wouldn’t be an uprising.
Rev. Hicks doesn’t “go with the flow to silence the masses”, and again, that’s one of the things that I love her for the most. People blame her for their own unhappiness, but if we don’t give others credit for our success, why should we blame them for our misery?
The single greatest thing I’ve ever learned from Rev. Hicks is this: “Nobody can push your buttons unless you allow them to.”
That statement literally changed my life. We each have the power and ability to choose LOVE. To choose peace. And to choose forgiveness. I’ll forever hold these precious lessons close to my heart, and I’ll forever be grateful for what Rev. Hicks has taught me. ♥
Home Depot and the Illuminati
Brianna/50 MM 1.8 II/natural lighting/manual
“You’re seriously not going to go out there like that, right?” I asked my daughter, Brianna.
“Of course,” she said.
“Um…with that…Illuminati symbol? Seriously?”
Oh boy.
She smiled. I laughed. And then I left her alone.
This is Southern Indiana; it may as well be the deep South. Rednecks and hillbillies are thick around here. I quickly put things into proper perspective: she has every right to wear whatever she wants on her face, head, or any other body part. The fact that I disagree is really not the point: I need to respect her choices.
So we headed out to the Home Depot, and short of being lynched, publicly, it went well! There are lots of pot-bellied guys in suspenders there- “good ole boys” who like traditional things and people that just don’t push envelopes or stretch boundaries. Ha. My little family is exceptionally good at that and I’m so proud of my kids.
The looks she got by “the good ole boys” at the Home Depot were shocking (and, hilarious). Brianna walked straight forward with a dedicated gait and didn’t flinch. She didn’t look to see what others thought or if they even looked at her. I gained a new respect for her that day. I still don’t like the Illumnati symbol (at all) but certainly appreciate a person who stands his or her ground and challenges others to bend their perspectives- to break out of their stagnant mindsets and breathe new air- even if that air is foreign and seemingly “threatening”.
I remember well what one of my best friends (of 8 or so years) said to me once over the IM. I’m a Christian- he’s an Athiest- and we were alright to “go there” with each other. Not always- but we didn’t shy away from the subject ever. We liked to know what made the other tick and why we chose to believe what we did, so we often prodded and poked, respectfully.
“Well, you, being an unbeliever…da da da…” I said, foolishly.
“I’m not an unbeliever,” he said. “I just don’t believe the same things you do.”
To this day, that’s one of the most riveting things anybody has ever said to me. Profound even. For six years or so, he and I were so very close. I think of him often and love him dearly. He remains an Athiest and I remain a Christian- but we had a unique understanding and respect for one another. He remains one of my favourite people ever.
It’s too late to be rambling on about the Illuminati and Home Depot and rednecks and stuff. I have to be up early in the morning. I need to go do loads of schoolwork watch Dual Survivor while I eat roasted chicken.
Ta ra.
Angel Above You
It’s time for some church up in here! [Spoken in my native southern Texas accent.]
Josh and I took Brianna and Brian down to the river last night. There are three distinct areas we like to hang out at. 1) The creek bed, which runs along the flood wall. 2) The fossil beds- a perfect place to study brachiopods, trilobites, and other fossils which are embedded in the rock layers. 3) The “beach”. This is a part of the river that mimics an actual beach; complete with rolling tides, tons of driftwood, and plenty of sand. We love it there, and that’s the region we chose to frequent last night.
I’ll add another post later this with more family/river pics (including Brianna’s “sand bath”- hair included) but for now, I want to add a few inspirational pics.
I found this particular pic to be very interesting and curious. I shoot in manual- always- so when it’s getting dark, you really have to know your stuff (ISO/shutter speed/aperture/exposure compensation/white balance, etc.) because when shooting in manual, your lighting is always changing from second to second, continuously, even in broad daylight. Shooting at and after dusk is especially tricky because the focus takes longer to “catch”. This is what happened last night when I captured Josh blowing on the fire. Just as I clicked on the shutter, a stray ember popped up from the fire, shooting up and behind his shoulder (you can still see its trail) and formed a perfect cross above him. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the pic in the LCD immediately afterwards. (This pic hasn’t been “shopped”, or Photoshopped.)
I’m sure the specifics of the fire could be explained away scientifically, but I prefer to know and believe that God works in strange and beautiful ways. Even with fire. He lets us know His eyes are always on His Children, and those who love and believe in Him.
From a photographical standpoint, I shot this with a slowed shutter. (1/8 of a sec.) To non-photographers, that means that “time” was slowed down, and the camera picks up what the human eye cannot. In the blink of an eye, this cross was there and gone, but the camera’s “pause” allowed it to be captured. (It’s a good self reminder to pause more in life; we’ll see more crosses.)
S A L T O F T H E E A R T H
My daughter, Brianna/50 MM 1.8 II/manual focus/manual exposure/natural lighting
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
-Matthew 5: 13-16
Messages
I received this message at one of my photo sites I hang out at:
I stumbled across your profile – and what a great find. I was first quite impressed with your photography, but after looking more thoroughly, I have found that you have included a lot of “Christian Imagery” I would imagine this to be the case because you are indeed a Believer/Christian yourself. My wife and I are also believers and I was just thinking yesterday – how can I use photography to glorify God, to be a witness. I believe you have done that on some level in your photography, including Bibles, Scripture Passages, Crosses etc. Thank you for sharing your faith regardless of the outcome…. I’m encouraged.
PS. Keep Shooting for God, for Art, for Creativity
Romans 1:16
Caleb
Can you send me a link to the song so that I can download it?
God bless
I not only enjoy doing good things for others- I’m compelled to.
m o n o c h r o m e j u n k i e † 