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Mystery Drunk Caller

Of course, this isn’t such a mystery as I know who the caller was, but in my great compassion, I won’t name names.

Brring. Brring.


[Intoxicated caller]

“Hey. You know the other day when I was telling you about that store?”


“That store…they sell Wonder Woman costumes and-”

“Ok. Look. I told you, do not drunk call me. If you drunk call me, I’m going to hang up on you. Don’t frikking drunk call me!”

“Well, well, see…”

“Are you drunk?!”

[Innebreated pause]

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“They have these Wonder Woman costumes there. I’ll buy it.”

“Dude, I don’t care about your Darth Vader crap, and I don’t care about Wonder Woman. If you call me one more time with your ^%$# in your hand, I’m going to-”

“You’re beautiful, Birg! I’ll buy the costume!”

“Ok, You know what? I’m hanging up. Do not drunk call me again.”


Yeah. This really happened today.
Somebody stop this ride…

6 responses

  1. Haha love it! It’s been a while since I got a drunken call or even a booty call at that. When I do get them, I am rarely offered superhero costumes!


    January 13, 2014 at 1:22 am

    • I’m telling you, I could write a book- nobody would believe my everyday life. (Nobody could make this crap up!) :0)

      January 13, 2014 at 1:30 am

  2. Northernbaygirl

    Ugh, drunk ex’s on the phone. Just what every woman needs in her life, not!! Hope your first day back studying goes well 🙂 xxx

    January 13, 2014 at 11:02 am

    • Thanks. :0) The first few days are usually slow as we familiarize ourselves with the syllabi, outlines, instructors, etc. but around day 4- we’re thrown straight into the academic cyclone and by week two, spinning uncontrollably in full-time research papers, memorization, etc. and reading hundreds of pages weekly of various chapters and text. I love it! :0)

      And yeah, gotta love those drunk exes, eh?
      UGH. (I think it’s time to change my number.)

      January 13, 2014 at 11:38 am

  3. hahahah that is so fantastic. I used to have a friend that did that. She would call me up and sing me solos on my machine. It’s hilarious how different people act when drunk. I am so boring like I will fall asleep. That is all that happens. Other people will swing on poles or crawl on the floor . I guess if you had wanted to be Wonder Woman this Halloween you could have gotten a free costume out of the deal lol?

    January 16, 2014 at 11:37 am

    • Actually, I used to get drunk and swing on poles and crawl on the floor too. But at least I got a few $50’s out of the deal!


      Yeah, some people HAVE to be around other people when they drink. This is why it’s a good idea to stop yourself after two, maybe three drinks- at the most. Getting trashed is NEVER a good thing. Still, I get my fair share of “drunk calls”- I absolutely hate being around rambling drunk people!

      And this is why I screen my calls heavily. ;0)

      January 16, 2014 at 12:21 pm


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