Sleep Deprivation= Cheap Buzz
Tomorrow is my last day of the semester. I love this floaty, surreal, semi- twilight existence that goes along with sleep deprivation. I’ve been awake for 30 hours now; not too bad. I’ve seen plenty worse. (It involved hospitalization and wide awake REM states- no place for the faint of heart, m’ friend.) I’m good for powering through a final exam and an 8 page paper in a day, however, which is what my day consisted of- just as long as I get a 12 hour power sleep beforehand. I wouldn’t recommend trying this at home, kiddies! But it’s a way of life for me, and I seem to be at my best when my world is slightly ethereal with the soft fuzzies of sleep deprivation. It pushes me over the edge ever-so-slightly so that I get a much-needed blast of adrenaline. It’s better than coffee. 🙂 (And let’s face it, it’s a free buzz that carries with it no guilt.)
I’m managing to hold on to my A still in my Serial Killers class–which I finished an hour or so ago– and as long as I receive a good score on my final paper in my Forensic Anthropology course, I’ll have an A in that as well. I have a good feeling about it so I’m betting I’ll come away from it with my two A’s in tact.
I would write more, but I’m starting to teeter over onto the floor a bit- and I don’t think I’m supposed to be doing that.
Netflix is calling.
My vacation starts tomorrow evening (a whole 9 days to myself-YES) and I can’t wait to go to some ole boring park and take pics of absolutely nothing at all. That sounds like paradise!
Life is But a Dream
Lately, life has been so good. I’m enjoying my summer break, but am looking forward to going back in just a few more weeks. I can’t believe I’ve been out of school for a month now. I’m in the process of being accepted at WGU Indiana: it’s the only school in the nation with a fully accredited teacher’s program- distance ed- and it’s award winning.
So……I’ll be majoring in Biology in the teacher’s college. (Yes, teacher’s college!) I’m either going to explore the possibilities of becoming an elementary/middle school biology teacher, or using my bachelor’s to begin work on my master’s in biology (again, at the teacher’s level) or work on my master’ in DNA & Serology. Either way, I’ll have a few more years before I’ll need to make that executive decision. For now, I’m content with working solely on the Biology major.
Josh will be going back out of town on business for a few days. We spent the day out at the park (Lapping Park) walking on a trail that we officially claimed as our own. Afterwards, we hit a flea market and picked up some BBQ sauce for our new smoker/grill and Josh bought me some pumpkin coffee (for our Espresso maker) and then hit up a Chinese buffet. I feel like I’ve got ticks crawling all over me so I’m off to hit the shower.
Au Revoir.
Burn Bright: Burn Loud
Today’s been a wonderful day. 🙂
When I gave my mother my diplomas (Behavioral Sciences degree + CPC in Substance Abuse) for her birthday today, she gasped and then clutched them to her chest and just wept. It was so precious! I wasn’t expecting that kind of a response. I also told her that if I’m half the woman that she is when it’s all said and done, I will have succeeded in this world. I’ve never known a sweeter woman than my mother. She has a greater capacity to love and forgive than most people.
I know quite a few people who feel that their moms are critical and will even make them feel bad or ashamed of their appearances or what have you: my mom’s just the opposite. I’m working toward buying her a home over the next few years. I told her (back when I was 16) that someday, I’d buy her a home. Now I can see the outline of it taking shape.
After I graduated, she asked me if I was able to add “those little letters after my name”- ha. Cute.
“No. I don’t have any little letters after my name. But after I’m a doctor, I will have,” I said.
The thoughts and realizations of becoming a doctor are now within my grasp. It’s no longer a wild notion that I can work toward and obtain my Psy. D in Psychology, which is one of the highest levels of doctorate for psychology that one can receive.
The reason my fight is so intense, is because in my family, we women have always been little more than glorified toilet scrubbers, wives, moms, nannies, care-takers and sitters. I’m the first female- for literally generations- to receive my college degree. It’s just not something women in my family do-ever. This is why I took both of my nieces under my wings and encouraged them to get their degrees. One of them enrolled in college, but dropped out shortly after she was married- never to return. The other (I hear) is now working really hard in a nursing program, taking after her Aunt Birgy- making A’s and doing very well. She’s had some private struggles which have stacked the odds against her, so the fact that she can overcome these obstacles and pursue her degree is really quite profound. I think she’s going to make it. 🙂
In my family, this type of thing is huge! She wants to be a nurse, but really, there’s nothing stopping her from going all the way and becoming a doctor. We’re all quite poor, and I’m doing all I can to change the infrastructures of the (hush hush) sexism that has held back the women in our family for many generations. When a person or family unit comes from a very poor upbringing and goes on to earn a good salary and improve their lives economically, it’s called “upward mobility”, sociologically speaking. When a person comes from money (whether old or new) and ends up in a shack with little more than a few coins to rub together, it’s known as “downward mobility”.
I want to be an example for the women in my family and I’m raising the bar high. I won’t settle for going to work and going home- multiply that by many years- and then “simply dying”. What will it all have been for? I want to burn bright and loud and show them that they can achieve anything that they set their minds on. Mediocrity is not an option.
Another reason working toward a doctorate in psychology is so important to me is because my maternal grandmother died with dementia. It’s not a stretch to assume that my mother could end up like her mother. I’m working toward becoming a trained professional so that I’ll decrease my Mom’s chances at getting dementia. It’s an inherent disorder, and you can do little to alter DNA, but it can be warded off, or even diffused altogether if given the right nutrition, and treat any early symptoms aggressively and proactively. I will not let my mother become a statistic and in some home somewhere.
She gave me life! And it’s the least I can do to spend the rest of mine dedicated to making hers better.
I’m off to play a Nancy Drew game. I’m having such a great time in life these days: Every day is a vacation. 🙂
My son, Brian ,and his little lady, Amanda- so in love
I Can Get Used to This
I stayed up all night reading my Vivien Leigh bio and eating Jalapeno Cheetos. Does life get any better than this? I can hardly wait to find out.
I awoke at 5:00 p.m., cleaned the house, and am getting ready to hit my Gazelle Stryder for an hour- coffee at 7! This is what my entire summer will look like. Loafing around doing absolutely anything I want- living on rock-n-roll time. (Up all night- sleep all day.) I’ve gone from a no nonsense student to a glorified beach bum in less than a week- I love it. 🙂
Josh has been out of town for two days on business. I really miss that kid when he’s not around!
Nothing more to report. Life is good.
Very very good.
Brian and Amanda- Warhol/pop
Just In
My diplomas!
I had no idea that my CPC/certification in Substance Abuse would be an actual diploma also. I don’t think it’s set in that I’ve officially graduated from college. It feels like a major accomplishment and it’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. My 2nd diploma was a great Mother’s Day present when I checked the mail today- fresh off the press.
All in all, today’s been a great day. I spent the afternoon with Josh and my mother. (I had ordered some chocolate truffles for her from Swiss Colony for Mother’s Day.) It’s 1:35 a.m. and although Josh has to work tomorrow, he left to go to the store to buy me chocolates. I only hinted that I would like some and he was out the door and off to the drug store to buy them for me. What a great guy. 🙂 No complaints here.
Off to bed. My Vivien Leigh bio awaits. (And so do my chocolates.) Happy (late) Mother’s Day, to all of the moms out there! x
Truly
Five days until school is out. Woohoo!
I swear I’m so tired of talking about school. But, since I’m already on it, let’s update.
Still to go:
5 exams
1 videotaped diagnostic interview
1 biology Biome assignment (due today)
3 5-10 page APA research papers to write in 3 different classes
1 video presentation on Autism
Piece o’ cake. I could do that in my sleep by now.
I’ve decided to change plans. Again.
I’ll be taking the whole summer off and taking lots (and lots) of pics. I can afford to take the summer off without working- it’s going to be pure Heaven, I tell ya. And after the year I’ve had so far?
I got it coming to me I think.
FIVE DAYS!
m o n o c h r o m e j u n k i e † 