Tomorrow is my last day of the semester. I love this floaty, surreal, semi- twilight existence that goes along with sleep deprivation. I’ve been awake for 30 hours now; not too bad. I’ve seen plenty worse. (It involved hospitalization and wide awake REM states- no place for the faint of heart, m’ friend.) I’m good for powering through a final exam and an 8 page paper in a day, however, which is what my day consisted of- just as long as I get a 12 hour power sleep beforehand. I wouldn’t recommend trying this at home, kiddies! But it’s a way of life for me, and I seem to be at my best when my world is slightly ethereal with the soft fuzzies of sleep deprivation. It pushes me over the edge ever-so-slightly so that I get a much-needed blast of adrenaline. It’s better than coffee. 🙂 (And let’s face it, it’s a free buzz that carries with it no guilt.)
I’m managing to hold on to my A still in my Serial Killers class–which I finished an hour or so ago– and as long as I receive a good score on my final paper in my Forensic Anthropology course, I’ll have an A in that as well. I have a good feeling about it so I’m betting I’ll come away from it with my two A’s in tact.
I would write more, but I’m starting to teeter over onto the floor a bit- and I don’t think I’m supposed to be doing that.
Netflix is calling.
My vacation starts tomorrow evening (a whole 9 days to myself-YES) and I can’t wait to go to some ole boring park and take pics of absolutely nothing at all. That sounds like paradise!
So after an insanely strong cup of espresso and 12 pages of morning note-taking on mentalism, dualism, and materialism (and many more behavioral isms), a most necessary distraction has arrived: my Lensbaby Composer! It’s only the most awesome lens in the world because it bends the sides of the frame outward- stretching it in a really trippy way. It makes for really wild images, but done subtlely, it can be aesthetically pleasing yet mild.
I’m off to go give it a spin.
Money isn’t the answer to life’s problems, but it sure does help.
Josh and I are in a really good place right now. We’ve been doing some deep work on our relationship. What would have ruined us emotionally a year ago, we’re able to talk through and make emotional compromises and sacrifices. It’s amazing what a few well-placed rules can do for your relationship!
We’ve integrated a few, simple rules into our relationship that we hold in high regard. Our first one is: never interrupt. Before I began studying psychology (5 years ago), I was unaware of how much I interrupted people. I would focus on their subject, and before long, without even realizing it, my thoughts would bounce around like popcorn- and I was jumping into their sentences with similar experiences or something “pertinent” I thought would add to the conversation. And not to excuse myself, but this is not an uncommon thing for many people. Few people have the mental and emotional restraint to hold back their thoughts until there is an empty space in the conversation. And not to be sexist, but men do seem to be able to master this artful skill more successfully than women.
I guess my son, Brian, helped me also more than he’s even aware of. In an argument once (our only “email battle” that we’ve ever had), he accused me of being a narcissist. These days, this is a common slag against parents. I’ve read kids saying their parent is a narcissist many times lately. At first, I was angry when I read it. But then I came to the conclusion that in his anger or not, he still made the statement for a reason. Would he ever accuse me of being a kangaroo if he were angry? Of course not! it’s not on the radar because I’m not a kangaroo and it’s obvious. But the very fact that he did call me a narcissist- even in anger- and the fact that it made me angry to read that tells me that there was some level of truth to it. It wasn’t my truth, but it was his.
When he stated that, I immediately dismissed it as youthful arrogance on his part. What does he know? He’s all of 18! But then later, in the quiet chambers of my mind, I dissected myself. Do I try to make things about me? When he’s talking about his life, do I try to make it about my life suddenly? How often do I talk about myself? How often do I mention my own situations and experiences when he’s discussing his? And how often do I interrupt others?
These were some troubling questions that actually scared me when pondering. I couldn’t deny that he was right- to some degree. Looking back, I’m so glad he said that to me. I needed the reprimand. What it caused me to do was to become more aware of other peoples’ experiences and each person’s unique “voice”. I’ve worked very hard at this since he’s pointed it out. I’m mindful- always- of not interrupting others and I’m more careful now.
So, back to Josh and I. We’ve been working on some potential land mines that had the power to rip us apart. Through our careful navigation, we’ve been able to better communicate and show care and attentiveness while the other is talking. And again, it’s amazing how that one little rule (to never interrupt) has transformed our relationship- entirely. We seldom argue any more. It’s a beautiful thing. :0)
Also, for the first time in many years, we’re in a really good financial place! We’ve been able to pay off all of our credit cards and put back more than $1,500 in savings. We only use one of our credit cards actively, the rest are 100% payed down and we’re choosing to simply “garden” them- leaving them untouched. We may live in a mobile home, but darn it- we own it. Our home and car are payed for. Also, being home owners comes with additional perks.
We picked up a 40 inch flat widescreen for our bedroom wall, so now we have this enormous queen sized bed with a gajillion pillows on it and a really awesome widescreen on the wall at the end of the bed. Also, I’ve just ordered a new Lensbaby Composer (kit) + a Super Tak SMC 28 MM/3.5 and a Carl Zeiss 35/2.4- 3 new lenses! Life is pretty damn good right now.
Brian is spending the night here with his girlfriend, Amanda, so I’m off to make some ribeyes and collard greens + toasted whole grain baguettes (with EVOO + pink Himilayan sea salt and assorted fresh cracked green, pink, and black peppercorns, of course!).
Yeah, life is really good right now. 🙂
I’m in the best mood in the world today. I’ve dropped Social Psychology (as I’ve already taken it on the 200 level last year) and have replaced it with Cognitive Psychology. Therefore, my two courses this spring will be Cognitive Psychology and Behavioral Neuroscience.
I guess I’m in such a good mood because I found out that I’m only 8 courses away from receiving my B.S. in Psychology. EIGHT. This changes my “take two years off” plans just a bit. I thought I was still 20+ classes away but dang. I’m almost there.
So then, I’m still going to be taking a break this semester (for me, that means going half-time rather than full-time) and then this fall, after having the entire summer off, I’ll jump back in full-time (4 classes) and do the same thing in the spring of ’16 and then voila! I’ll have my bachelor’s. As I’ve already stated, I made the Dean’s List last semester, so if I’m able to maintain that throughout the next year, I’ll have my pick (pretty much) for my Master’s program. Making the Dean’s List is not just about ego! It’s “academic security”. Why would anybody want to work in a factory line when they can have an office?
Another thing I’m considering is Anthropology. I was raised on Nat. Geo.’s and so that stuff is in my blood. I’m a closet sociologist so I’m entertaining the idea of working on a Master’s in Anthropology with a concentration in Sociology. Either that, or I’ll stick it out in Psychology and work on my Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology, specializing in OCD neuroses and perhaps choose to freelance- working with hoarders and other OCD-based disorders or even “Skype-therapy”. Here’s my personal theory: going in to a clinical environment (i.e. therapist’s “office” with motivational posters on the wall) will produce “clinical results”. It’s comfortable to the therapist, because he or she spends a great deal of time there. They eat there, they write there, they chart the patients there. But for the patient, or “client” (so very 2015 and politically correct), it’s a foreign environment and it makes one feels as if they’re sitting in their Aunt Ida’s bedroom, being uncomfortably interrogated. Why not spend an hour of that patient’s time in an environment where he or she is comfortable and better able to express themselves? These days, the average person spends much of their free time either on their cell phones or laptops- which means- the average person spends much of his or her free time in any area of a social media platform: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, etc. or texting.
My last 3 visits to the doctor proved my theory (sort of) in that 75 % of all people were on their cell phones for the duration of my wait in the waiting room. 75! Those people won’t likely be reading a book or putting puzzles together in their spare time. They’ll be on their cell phones or laptops at home too. So why not focus on a therapy program that allows people to log in on Skype for an hour? I know that this type of therapy does exist already, but it’s in its infancy. People need face time with therapists- I agree. But going to meet a therapist, whom you’ve never before met, and sitting in a sterile environment is very much like going on a blind date and going straight back to the date’s house; it might be pretty uncomfortable. People like to “build up” to that stage. Why does therapy have to be different? We’re dealing with psychologically and emotionally fragile people (for the most part). Being a former patient, I can tell you it’s damn uncomfortable going to a therapist’s office and her asking straightaway, “Why are you here? What do you expect to get out of therapy?”
Future therapists: Don’t ever say this to your clients! it’s pretty off putting. Better to tell them that you’re glad to see them and explain what YOU hope to gain from meeting with them (so that they might feel welcome and comfortable) and it also gives the client an idealistic outline or shape of what they can expect. I digress.
So yes. Skype therapy for perhaps the first 5 sessions so that the client can feel comfortable before taking that next step of “leaving their house to go to a therapist’s office”. Walking in on a cold call visit, basically, can heighten anxiety in itself. Skyping first would build a structurally sound foundation of trust so that the client would know what to expect to some degree. Why hasn’t the psychological world realized this and integrated it into their practicum/interum already? As I mentioned, it’s in its infancy still, so I’m in a good place to better explore this area academically. I wouldn’t mind doing my own investigative surveys on the subject in the future.
Any way it goes, I’m really close to obtaining my bachelor’s so I’ve got a new found desire to push on, and I’m excited about it. Bipolar Barbie- if you’re reading this, don’t look over your shoulder cause I’m right behind you! 🙂
Another reason I’m in such a good mood is that I’m now sleeping in the most awesome bed in the world. It feels like I’m floating on clouds all night; the mattress is a pillow top, but still firm. It’s pure heaven! And it doesn’t hurt having a human meat pillow that’s as gorgeous as Josh too…
…who are just finishing up your semesters- students and teachers alike- congratz to you!
And although I’m bowing out of the academic race to pursue my photography/art, I do hope that each of you continues to do well in your studies and teachings. All of my final grades are in and it’s going to be a close call, but I think I might’ve made the Dean’s List. More on that later.
Maggie, congratzs to you, and Y, you too. WE DID IT. 🙂