Sunflower
Photo taken today: iPhone SE
Purchase metal or canvas print:
Having too Much Fun!
My Mom & I: Our lovefest begins anew every day. 😁🤗♥️💝
Video credit: My Mom ♥️
I’m finally home, where I belong.
God is AWESOME
I cannot even begin to explain how God is blessing me in my life right now! Especially recently. I just stay in a constant state of joy and exuberance. Only God can do that.
So I graduated from Aspen University almost 3 years ago with my Master’s degree in Psychology and Addiction Counseling. I’ve never doubted that in God’s time, He would open the door and prepare my way to begin working on my clinical hours so that I can become a licensed Mental Health Counselor. I’m already a mental health counselor- specializing in addiction, I’m just not licensed in the state of Indiana.
I was just given the number to the state licensure organization and I called and spoke with them, which led me to the Career Services Department at Indiana University (the college by which I received my Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology). Because I’m an alumni of Indiana University East, I have access to their Career Services, allowing me to take advantage of their directing me in how to go about obtaining my clinical hours. GOD. HAS. OPENED. THE. DOOR!
I’m really going to be starting my clinical hours very soon! This is a huge moment in my life. 🤗 I’m ECSTATIC.
I legit can’t keep up with all of the blessings God’s sharing with me and my Mom- in tandem. It’s incredible. We’ve been rejoicing at the great things God is doing in our lives.
I didn’t see any of this coming. It’s when we let go of the reigns- those ridiculous reigns that we think help us but are really driving us into the ground- and let God, as the saying goes, that we’re freed. When we truly let go, we have peace.
Peace, and true happiness.
And that’s the only way to experience God’s joy, truly.
Thanks to Him, I live in His joy. 🙂 24/7.
He. Is. Awesome. 🤗✝️🤗
Full Bloom
I’ve always been a late bloomer. Who knew that I’d have to wait until I’m 53 before coming into my full blush of life?
(Since I don’t wear makeup, it was applied digitally. 😁) 💋
My Mother’s Hands
ORIGINAL SONG: THE FLOOD
Click here: m.facebook.com/story.php
Click the link above to hear an original song I wrote called “The Flood”. A song about Addiction & pain; recovery and redemption. ♥️
This is an original song I wrote called “The Flood”, and it’s a song about struggling with addiction, but it’s dedicated to an unnamed gay friend of mine at Redbubble; He’s a phenomenal artist who shared a photo of himself holding a Bible in front of a Church in full drag, in the rain- mascara running down his face- lipstick all smudged; I found him incredibly beautiful. What a powerful image! I dedicate this song especially to him. Love you guys. ♥️
Lyrics:
“The Flood”
Standing, in the water
And your knees are, covered by the flood
Covered by the flood
Dancing, pitter patter, noise & noise & words
Falling down in idle chatter
Open up your mouth
And drink in the rain
Drink in the rain
And doesn’t it break your heart?
Doesn’t it make you cry?
Doesn’t it make you glad?
Turn the tears to wine
It doesn’t make you bad
For drinking in the rain
Don’t know what to do
With so much pain
I ate the guts out of a dirty potato
And now I’m feeling better, better, better, ooh
Dreamscape: Today
Dreaming…
Parking lot: 3.20.22. iPhone SE. Vintage. (Purple hair no more…) So black it’s blue…
Dreams of Technicolour
Artist with a camera. Better than “photographer”. IPHONE SE- no filters. 2.6.22.
Zombie Apocalypse
I’ve been reduced to tapping out my posts on my Android since my HP OMEN gaming laptop bit the dust. (Or at least the screen did.) Naturally, under the circumstances, I’ll be much more brief this time around. I marvel at the timing of everything that has happened lately! Due to the Coronavirus, and being shut down here in Indiana for the most part, Josh has chosen to stop working for now.
First of all, the governor of Kentucky (Josh worked just across the state line in Louisville, Ky), Andy Beshear, didn’t specify that hardwood flooring and/or construction work needed to fall under the umbrella of “vital to the cause” or “life sustaining” in order to remain “essential”. As a result, Josh and my son were still having to go in and work on clients’ hardwood floors cosmetically, meaning, simply staining the wood to match furniture, etc.
Meanwhile, people are legit dying out there by the bucket loads. After seeing the body count steadily rise from week to week, Josh was able to pursuade his boss that doing cosmetic floor work for the sake of aesthetic feely goods just didn’t quite equal to risking one’s life on the daily. Thankfully, his boss permitted them to self-demote from highly essential workers to glorified couch potatoes. Speaking of which:
Crazy timing interesting fact #2: As I mentioned, Josh just finished his job- again, for the next month or so, and I officially finished school yesterday. So, our vacations started within just 24 hours of one another! That’s epic stuff, man. For the record, one more time, I just wrapped up my Master’s degree in Psychology and Addiction Counseling. I’m finished with school forever and it feels incredible! Ten long years I’ve had my nose to the grindstone. I must admit, it feels really good to just…be done with it all. 😊
Anyway, I had just spent in the area of $2,200 for my new/used Mark II Canon full-frame camera+ Canon EF 24-70 2.8MML II ($900+) lens + 2 M42/vintage film lenses imported from Bulgaria, + Pro Lustre photo printing paper for sizes: 4×6, 5×7, 8×10, & 13×19 + all of the bubble mailers (for all 4 sizes) and its packaging, preparing to begin my photo/art business just as soon as I graduated, when the freaking zombie apocalypse hit. Go figure!
If it wasn’t so crappy it’d be hysterically funny. I mean, the timing though! And now, our economy is collapsing rapidly, daily, with more than 50% of the nation currently unemployed. The stock market crashed amidst the global pandemic and things are getting so super crazy outside. Regardless, even with Josh not working for awhile, we’re taken care of, thanks to my $ source. With the added EBT/SNAP benefits, that puts us in a pretty good position. I’m just grateful that we’ll be alright through all of this. So many people aren’t right now. We’re being given a 60 day extension on our Duke Energy, Spectrum, + Progressive Insurance bills, so again, I’m able to cover the rent (alone) and buy the food and Josh can take it easy for a change. I am one lucky woman to have such a great life partner! By the time our bill extension is up, he’ll be back at work and can help pick up the tab. We make a pretty great team. 💕
As much as I was hoping I’d be able to hold on to my new L series/Canon lens, I found out my son’s landlord is vying for D*** of the year by demanding $600 back rent, despite the fact that my son gave him rent $ only last week. How are you going to demand $600 back rent during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC?! What an asshole. So, I’m selling my 1 month old lens for $850 (willing to take $800) on Ebay so I can help my son during this time. My Dad was an incredibly generous man. He always did what he could in life to help me out, no matter what. That instilled in me a great desire to do that for my own kids. I will always be there for my kids.
Meyer-Optik Görlitz Orestor 135/2.8- film lens
17% juice left on my phone; I suppose I’ve said enough for now. After all, I merely wanted to pop in, update space, and report the end of my very, very long academic journey. I feel as if 1,000 stones have been lifted from my back! I am finally free to live my life as I want , on my own terms and on my own time.
My dear sister, Anita,
we haven’t spoken in 8 years or so. I cannot understand how or why any person would choose to cut a blood sibling out of their life. I could never do that to you, nor would I. Life is so short, and it’s precious. It shouldn’t be squandered by hate or unforgiveness. My love for you is still so strong, that not even death could rip it away. Please know that I love you. I don’t know you now, and you don’t know me. I do know that I’m a completely different person than I was when we were last friends. I’m betting you are too. (That can only be a good thing in my book, on both our parts.) You and I were given a pretty rough lot in life. I think it’s fair to say that neither of us were raised properly or given the necessary tools to thrive in this world. In short, the cards were sorely stacked against us. I’m proud of us both for having been raised up in a patriarchal, misogynistic system that smote us at every turn, yet we both grew into strong, intelligent, and fiercely self-sufficient women. Here’s to you Sis; I’m proud of you. ❤
Fluffy, Not Fat
I feel…SO pregnant. My tubes were cut, tied, and burned 20+ years ago, and while it’s rare to conceive a child after all that, it does happen. I really do believe I’ve had a number of ectopic pregnancies in the past 5 years or so, given the evidence at the time. That’s not uncommon. Most ectopic pregnancies self-abort, and although it all happens without much incident, the emotions (of being pregnant) are very real and very much the same. I’m now caught in a semi-pseudo- (or not) preggers limbo of sorts- the kind that many women dread and for good reason. Home pregnancy tests (HPT) are negative while having every symptom of pregnancy known to man. The problem with this scenario is that the body is not yet producing enough HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) to result in a positive HPT, so the woman is left feeling as if it’s all in her head and the symptoms are merely phantom. It can really mess with the head.
And so the problem with this scenario is that she can truly be very pregnant, but her hormone levels are still too low to trigger a positive, and for whatever reason (mostly, if it’s eptopic), has a miscarriage, which is then perceived as a late period- just heavier than usual. So it’s its own little hell- all of it. I’m laid up on the couch with a heating pad on my lower right kidney; I can’t tell if it’s a bum kidney or a pulled muscle. Whatever it is hurts like the dickens. Also, I skipped my period last month, altogether, which never happens, and I haven’t had one this month either- but the HPT I just took read negative (of course!).
Because of my age (48), there’s a new uninvited guest who crashes this little party I’m having here and it’s called perimenopause. Now, the hot flashes that I’m having (which are also a sign of early pregnancy) and sudden weight gain (ditto) aaaaand heart palpitations (yep, those too) can all be ticked off in either category, so that makes it super fun and mysterious!
And I swear I’ve been feeling little thuds deep within my being, very much like little kicks or movements which are not gas. Any fetus at this stage would be developing its CNS, so little shocks are flushing through its system, which accounts for the little jerks and thuds that are felt. I’ve waited 25 years to go back to school and begin my career. I put my kids first, always, and now it’s finally “my turn”.
Or is it?!
So I asked Josh to make me some mushroom rice last night. This is what he bright me:
And some pics from our mushroom hunt the other day at Henryville Forestry/Clark State Forest, after the rain. Shot in monochrome/experimental high ISO (3200) f/18 using the Super Tak SMC f/4 50 MM vintage film lens.
Until next time, WP. Back to “Behind Mansion Walls”.
And some random pics of my guy, Josh, over the years. My best friend and THE love of my life. ❤
(Cue romantic music)
m o n o c h r o m e j u n k i e † 