It’s 2:10 a.m. and the rain is gently falling. My graduation rehearsal is tomorrow and I won’t be going.
I’ve been hit by an infection train, and now I’m hacking up green stuff. I’ve had it for over a week now. A woman at a buffet hacked and coughed all over the food, spraying me in the process, and two days later it was pretty rough sailing! Fast forward 4 days, I went to the bathroom and it felt like I was peeing glass. I know that feeling; I’ve been here before. The bronchial infection in my lungs has caused the infection to go systemic, triggering the (UTI) Urinary Track infection that grew so bad, it too contained puss. (That’s a first.) I’ve never been hit so hard in my life! This is a beast. My head is swimmy and I am coughing almost constantly. Most people would be in bed, barely moving, believing they are “sick”, but I don’t like that word, so I claim other words (like “infection”, etc.) I think when we use words like “sick”, the behavior follows.
I tell my body that I am merely battling an infection and I can still go about my day as usual. So, I believe myself. That said, I still have to make wise decisions and not inject myself into a cluster of 1,000 people in a performing arts center. Not a chance. So yes, after 4 long years of college (1 at community- 3 at the University) I won’t be attending my graduation.
Here’s a rundown of my day:
Morning: hack, cough, rest, take care of pets, take out trash, sweep hallway and bathroom floor
Midday: Mom brings over my car (hers was broken down) and so I drop her off at her house, then go grocery shopping ($200 of food/not a small amount to be lugging around), two other stores, return home
Late afternoon: Put on classical music, clean living room, take care of pets, drink Ruby Red grapefruit juice and lots of chicken broth (take vitamins), + ginger shooter
Early evening: Head back out into the rain (bundled up like an Eskimo) go to doctor’s appointment, then Rite Aid’s to fill prescription of mega-strong antibiotics.
9:30 p.m. Come home, do dishes, disinfect entire kitchen, take out trash again- scrub out fridge with bleach-water and soap, put away groceries.
11:00: take care of pets, make big pot of homemade chicken soup + hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows
Midnight: Bundle up, head over to Mom’s house with chicken soup and hot chocolate for her and my brother.
12:30 a.m.: Settle down with warm chicken soup, a clean house, happy animals, medicine, and my remote.
Yeah. I’m Superwoman…I know. :0)
I don’t sit around waiting to “feel sick”. I work through things in life that would make many other people collapse, such as the killer 3 day migraines I’ve had for several years now. When you have to clean the house and go grocery shopping (or write a 5 page analysis or research paper) when your head is splitting open and you’re almost vomiting from pain- yeah. You can live through pretty much anything!
So this is a cake walk in comparison. Even though my circumstances are “trying” at best, right now, I’m super happy. I feel like I’m FREE. Josh and I are no more and I’ll refrain from speaking of him here. This blog was meant (and still is) as a documentary-type account of my life. He’s no longer in my life, and I can accept that. No tears, no grief- actually, it’s quite the opposite!
I’m happy and am in control of my life again. I’ve been bouncing around today because I feel light at heart; what a great feeling! Where have you been old friend? I have the next month to do what I like on my down time, before my spring classes start.
There will be lots of Judge Judy, bad hair, and funky PJ’s involved.
Who knows, I might even relax a little. :0)