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Once Upon a Time

…there was a woman. She was decent, loving, thoughtful- kind. She fell in love with a preacher man. He was decent, loving, and kind too. He sang on the church platform and even taught Sunday school. He was an upright man who had spent the better part of 10 years all alone, choosing to seek out God’s will in his future partner. He was very selective and delighted in beautiful women, but still- he stayed to himself for the most part.

The woman took a fancy to the preacher man. She sent him cards and letters and even made him special little crafts with a little key on the card. A cute way of signifying that he held the “key to her heart” no doubt. She dreamed of ways that they might be together someday and even shared her dreams with all of her friends via emails. She asked her friends to really pray! Really pray that this man would “do the right things” and return her advances, for she just knew that this was the man God had designed for her.

Then one day, the man sent her a note that said he is sorry, but didn’t want to discuss the “why’s and becauses” of why he didn’t want to pursue her, but he respectfully declined her advances, He was waiting on the Lord.

The woman was crushed. She was wounded beyond measure- it was almost too much for her to bear. After all, hadn’t God Himself shown her that “this was to be”? This was “her man”?

Rather than take the bitter blow, she set out to utterly destroy him. She Photoshopped his picture and shaved his hair off. She even Photoshopped Bozo hair onto his head adding witty quips such as, “It almost makes you feel sorry for him, doesn’t it?”

But I didn’t feel sorry for him. I was utterly disgusted that this woman would devour an innocent man simply because he rejected her. For the next 3 years she secretly devoured this man, year after year- my patience grew thin. I knew better than to anger this woman. She could be ruthless and downright cruel, according to her track record.

I was torn. Tell her to stop and pay the price, or simply, continue to allow this woman to devour him and be as big a coward as her.

I didn’t want to risk causing trouble, so I said nothing. As predicted, this did not appease the rejected woman. She continued raging against this man, telling many other women that he was sleeping around. Telling them that he was “addicted to porn” – she just knew it! Her hatred grew so ferocious against this man she even accused him of being a pedophile.

And that was the last straw. I took my broken heart before God, crying out, “Lord! What can I do?! If I stick up for this poor man she’ll eat me alive!”

But I had my answer in Jesus’ words:

“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.”  Proverbs 3: 27

I knew what I needed to do. I needed to tell her to stop devouring this man to me or I would report her. I then removed myself from her presence both privately, and publicly. I don’t want to join myself to a person like that.

Several things came from this: she indeed stopped sending me hateful emails accusing this man of God. But as predicted, she did indeed turn her wrath upon me, going to anyone who would listen- railing on me, devouring me- even to my own kin- tuning their hearts again me.

I take great comfort in God’s Wod Who says that all evil, secret things will be brought out into the light- HE is my justifier:

“For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” Luke 8:17

 

And so is the tale of a very wicked woman who did no different than Jezebel or Potiphar’s wife: setting out to utterly destroy the man who wouldn’t have her.

Still, I continue to pray for her. Perhaps someday she will see the evil she’s done.

Perhaps not.

Success is the Best Revenge

And when they’re laying their traps, waiting for you to fall-

Look ‘em dead in the eyes and smile. It will kill them- because they don’t know how to love.

Here you go, now tattletales. GET YOU SOME OF THAT.

You can’t touch me.

Kiss my Ass

It’s a Monumental Dream…but I’m a Monumental Dreamer

I want to be a forensic psychiatrist. I’m pretty sure I’m destined to become one. “What does a forensic psychiatrist do?” you might ask. Think: Clarice Starling.

[Insert creepy music and Hannibal Lecter's "fava bean lip quake"]

Forensic psychologists do minor interviews and assessments with people who are in incarcerated, jail mostly, gathering information for criminal lawyers or law enforcement. They might give the detainee a few psychological assessments to gauge whether or not he or she is competent to stand trial, or, if they’re eligible to plead guilty by reason of insanity- which is usually the offender’s last ditch effort at getting out of prison.

But a forensic psychiatrist, on the other hand, sometimes administers the polygraph (and interprets it) and also spends his or her time at places like Leavenworth or Sing Sing, hanging out with the big boys (like Hannibal Lecter). The main difference between a forensic psychologist and a forensic psychiatrist is that the forensic psychologist obtains either a PhD (academic/research-based) or a PsyD (clinical/experience-based) while the forensic psychiatrist will receive the M.D. as he or she will have gone to medical school rather than just “college”. Also, a forensic psychiatrist is able to prescribe medications- a forensic psychologist is not.

I would quite literally need to go to med school for 4 years if I want to entertain the idea of becoming a forensic psychiatrist (and that’s after getting my B.S. in psychology.) And you can’t even get into med school until you’ve finished all of your prerequisites, which include: one semester of Biochemistry, one full year of General Chemistry w/ labs, one full year of Organic Chemistry w/ labs, one full year of Physics w/ labs, and one full year of Biology w/ labs and again, these are just the prereqs!

I think I might give it a shot. If I utterly fail, I can always go with the alternative: forensic psychology. School begins in 6 weeks and I cannot wait.

Still, I’m enjoying my vacation (finally!) and am allowing myself some much needed down time (without feeling guilty). The new toys help. :)

Bistro set for the back deck

1MJ

  Rope Hammock for lazy summer reading
2MJ

 

Let’s Talk About School

4th of July

 

I walked out onto our back patio deck yesterday and Josh had set up a beautiful Mexican dinner for us. We’d just ordered new wicker bistro patio furniture (table w/ textured glass and two accompanying chairs) and he’d assembled them on the sly. When I went out back to see my surprise, he had a spread of steak quesadillas (loaded with white cheese- Heaven!) and steak tacos + tongue tacos; extra sweet tea, lots of red and green sauces + flowers in vases and even a boombox hidden under the table playing classical music. Pretty fantastic.

I’ve been torturing myself daily on my career paths. I’m sad to say that Forensic Science is out. That (and CSI in general) is my dream job, but it’s just not possible to get a Forensic Science degree online, and in my current situation, distance ed. is my only option. I’m going to have to go with my 2nd career choice- clinical psychology. But hey, it’s not like I’m upset about it! I’ve found a reputable college with a PhD program (all online). Of course, when it’s time to do the internship, I’ll have to obtain dual residency in both states (Indiana and Kentucky) because the school is in Kentucky- 4 hours away, but I’m in Indiana. When it’s time for all of that, I’ll think about picking up a small efficiency apartment for $500 per month or so, and keep the home Josh and I own in Indiana.

My next move will be to begin working on my B.S. in Psychology at IU East, but there’s one more tiny setback: I won’t qualify for the Frank O’Bannon award there because I didn’t add their school code to my FAFSA between January-March of last year. it may not seem like much of a setback to some people, but that’s an additional $1,300 per semester that I desperately need that doesn’t require paying back.

Therefore, it looks like I’ll be doing Vincennes for two more semesters (working on my 2nd Associates in criminal justice) so that I can add IU’s school code between Jan-March of next year. Afterwards, I’ll attend IU East for my B.S. in Psychology and then transfer over to work on my M.A. in either Forensic Psychology at NDU or Educational Psychology (aka “school psychology”) at Ball State and then transfer yet again to University of the Cumberlands (in Kentucky) to work on my PhD in Clinical Psychology. Unless I’m completely settled in my ultimate career path, I’m just no good. I’ve pretty much mapped out my entire next decade so now I can chill. :)

It’s going to be a long road but I’m in it for the long haul. Suffice to say, I’ll be in school for the next 7-9 years, minimally. My classes for this fall semester are:

Juvenile Delinquency
Intro to Forensic Science
Criminal Investigations
Procedural Criminal Law

My kind of stuff. I still have 6 full weeks of vacation/relaxation before my fall term begins. Josh will be hanging up our rope hammock swing out back (for good summer reading under the ole shade tree) and assembling our new patio hammock too. I don’t have much to complain about; life is pretty good to me/us. ♥

Life is But a Dream

Lately, life has been so good. I’m enjoying my summer break, but am looking forward to going back in just a few more weeks. I can’t believe I’ve been out of school for a month now. I’m in the process of being accepted at WGU Indiana: it’s the only school in the nation with a fully accredited teacher’s program- distance ed- and it’s award winning.

So……I’ll be majoring in Biology in the teacher’s college. (Yes, teacher’s college!) I’m either going to explore the possibilities of becoming an elementary/middle school biology teacher, or using my bachelor’s to begin work on my master’s in biology (again, at the teacher’s level) or work on my master’ in DNA & Serology. Either way, I’ll have a few more years before I’ll need to make that executive decision. For now, I’m content with working solely on the Biology major.

Josh will be going back out of town on business for a few days. We spent the day out at the park (Lapping Park) walking on a trail that we officially claimed as our own. Afterwards, we hit a flea market and picked up some BBQ sauce for our new smoker/grill and Josh bought me some pumpkin coffee (for our Espresso maker) and then hit up a Chinese buffet. I feel like I’ve got ticks crawling all over me so I’m off to hit the shower.

Au Revoir.

Treesmj

 

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Summer School Begins NOW

ImageOriginal artwork: my photography (self portrait at the Ohio River) digitally rendered into Gouache oil on stone, titled: “Sister, I will Carry You”, circa 2009

So I’m waiting to hear back from an advising doctor at the University of Florida where I’ll ultimately work on a master’s in Forensic Science, particularly in that of Serology (the study of bodily fluids) and DNA. I’m most interested in Crime Scene Investigations- sans the body. If I could get past the whole “dead body” thing, I’d rather work there but I’m just not sure I could hang with that. (I’m sure at some point I’m going to have to get past that.) I have a keen interest in forensics and so I’m hoping Dr. ******* will be able to advise me on which B.S./major (Biology, Biochemistry, Criminal Justice) I need to pursue so that I can effectively move in the direction of Serology and DNA: I won’t be settled until I have my game plan on lock down!

To get a head start, I’ve found an awesome (free) forensics site in which you can enroll in (again- free) courses that include audio seminars- complete with course modules, syllabi, etc. I’m beginning with blood spatter analysis tonight. It’s going to have to hold me over until I can begin school in the fall.

For any potential CSI/DNA/Serology buffs, here’s the link:

https://www.forensiced.org/training/courseapp.cfm?csection=Forensic%20Sciences

Enjoy!

I’m In

I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed about being accepted into IU East; their acceptance rate is only 60%. 

I called today and found out that I’ve been accepted!

I am sooooooo stoked. I’m a little shaky knowing that I’ll have to take ridiculously hard classes (chemistry, physics, and Calculus) but I’m up for the challenge. Josh is giving me his full support. 

Life just got a whole lot better. 

Changing Lanes: The Trilogy

Ole Betsy’s been dead since about last year. (Ole Betsy’s my car.) My sister gave it to me 5 years ago because she thought it would kick the bucket any day. I expected her to last a year or so. Certainly not 4 & 1/2! She overheats at the 2 mile marker, so when Josh and I risk taking her out for a spin, we have to turn it off at the stoplights- you know- just in case.

I’m still able to smile at the (semi-romantic) notion of driving such an eyesore around town when I think about how great it’s going to be one of these days. And one of these days is about 8 years from now. I’ve gone and changed my majors again.

See, I was going to be a probation officer and so thought about taking Criminal Justice + Psychology (double major). But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m forever bonded with CSI and forensics, given that my Dad shared his True Detective magazines with me and my brothers- sparing not the eye at all. Some of the images branded me for life: I suppose that’s why I feel such a connection with criminology and forensics, etc. You’re either cut out for that stuff or you’re not and I certainly am.

I know without a doubt that I’ll be in school for the next 6 years solid. It’s not likely that I’ll get a B.S./B. A. in anything at all and hop right to it. Nah. I’m going to jump in up to both eyeballs, as is my way. So, I’ll be double majoring in Biology and Psychology (which is actually Neuroscience/neuropsychology) which suits me just fine. Afterwards, I’m hoping to transfer to the University of Florida where I can work on a Master’s in Forensic Science.

If you think Forensic Science can be achieved with just “college algebra”- think again. You have to master Calculus (I and II) as well as Chemistry (I and II) and let’s not forget Physics. (I and II) Not for the faint of heart!

I shared my grand academic plan with Josh earlier. It only took his two-word reply to make me shudder, “Imaginary numbers,” he said.

Yep. That did the trick!

“What is I?” He went on.

I stared back stupidly.

“I is the square root of negative one. There is no square root of negative one which is why they call it an imaginary number,” he finished.

Right.

I certainly have my work cut out for me, but if I can actually pull this off, I’m fairly certain that I will have found my calling after all.

Back to Betsy. She’s been really good to me while I’ve had her but I’m afraid I’ll have to trade her in this fall. When I’m combining grocery trips with photo shoot (opportunities) because she’ll only go two miles- that’s pretty much my cue to get a new one.

Josh, leaning against a stranger’s car outside of the grocery store- taken today/Helios film 44-2

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Same car
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Bounty

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Helios film lens 44-2/Josh holding mulberries

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