photographer. artist. author. singer. songwriter. musician. teacher. student. humanitarian. visionary.

The Great Internet Apocalypse

I’m sitting at McDonald’s with an overheating car and Peppermint Mocha, and, free internet. God Bless Micky Dees!

The inevitable has happened: my internet, cable and phone has been axed. My bill is $426, which I’ll pay in January- there were just too many things piling up at once, particularly the car, which has been overheating for several weeks now. Let me tell you, you really haven’t lived yet until your car, internet, cable, Netflix, and phone all go down at the same time.

The upside is, my house is spotless, and I’ve lost several pounds from cleaning and caring for 4 cats and a dog.

To all of you guys who have written, emailed (sent smoke signals, etc.) please know that I’ll return your emails as soon as I’m back up and online. (Two more weeks.) Bipolar Barbie, I’ll return your 6 emails then. I promise! ;0)

In other news, I’m absolutely ecstatic to be a single woman again. I just realized today that I’m fairly smoking hot at 44 still.

 Taken today/12.16.13- Helios film lens
My butt is the size of Montana, which explains why I “look thin” yet weigh 160 lbs. I’m pretty sure about 25 lbs. is the junk going on back there; not that I have any plans on doing anything with it other than carting it around to do more laundry, shopping, and kitty poo duty.

Just finished reading Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries. Wow, he was total trash back in the 80’s! (I may have been as well…the whole world was stoned throughout the hair band days, including me. Or is that hair band daze?)

As much as I’d love to hang out here at McDonald’s discussing my rear , house chores and Nikki Sixx, I should probably get going as I’m on a tight schedule! Merry Christmas to all of you guys! I’ll pop in in a few more days for another sprint through blog-land.

Oh, and I made a sale at Redbubble. To the mystery buyer of my print The Longest Dream, thank you so much! I do hope you enjoy it, and if you bought it as a Christmas gift for someone else, I hope they enjoy it as much as I enjoyed shooting it. (Shot in the rain at Perrin Park on a cold winter’s day.)

Email from today:


You’ve Made A Sale – 3045208


Hi Ḃḭṙḡḭṫṫä,

You’ve just made a sale on Redbubble! Your work was so brilliant that someone showed their appreciation with their wallet. Unfortunately we have to mark this event with a very boring email but it is full of Useful Facts (TM) about the sale.

‘But when will I get this money?’ we hear you cry, and rightfully so. Well you can find out here:

Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do, we love having you around Redbubble.

Mr Baxter – Chief Officer of Sending You Good News

1x Canvas Print of “”The Longest Dream”
Size: Large (24.0″ x 4.6″)

Your Margin: US$57.00

The sale details:

Retail Price: US$157.00
Manufacturing fee: US$100.00

Total Margin: US$57.00

You’ll receive: US$57.00

It won’t buy me a mansion but it’s tacos and gas, yeah?
Pics from the other day:
SP- Helios film lens- imported from Romania
My hallway
Bathroom plants- Josh’s grandmother’s transPLANTS
A spiky this or that hanging in a tree outside- Helios film lens + digital Rebel
Homemade pork pie for my mother and younger brother/pork, fresh mustard greens, fresh carrots, potatoes and onions- yes, it’s smiling. :0)
Silver-hued lone leaf lying outside of my house-Helios film lens
Back deck- snowed in- Helios film lens
Back deck- Helios film
Gnats- good riddance! Helios film
I’ve fallen in love with these shadows across from my house:
9:00 a.m.- morning shadows creeping in- Helios film

48 responses

  1. yvo

    Hello Darling!! You truly are smoking hot, you GORGEOUS GIRL!!! work it. walk the plank. arghh.(I am not cool enough to know the frigging lingo, but good at making shit up!!!) hahahahah Merry Blessed Christmas to YOU.You have been in my prayer you are the unsinkable Molly Brown and I adore you!!! I will be escorting my own (big) fine ass into an art cave to use my month off to MAKE artwork!! and speaking of asses, you be mighty fine. Who wants some tiny flat little rear end? Should be a womp womp noise when we walk. You sound marvelous and I am toasting you with well . . I am just drinking coffee right now. but I will lift a glass when I have one. Cheers and yep MickieD’s, Starbucks, Panera, the library probably more. Love to you B!!!! xxx

    December 16, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    • Did you just say womp womp noise? Hahaha…. honey child,, there’s a womp womp and a BOMP BOMP going on when I walk- I wear a lot of long, baggy shirts. 😉

      I miss you much, Y. I’m so glad to know you’ll be making lots of new art and I cannot wait to see it. By the way, I took you up on the advice and changed my hair back to darker brown/light black. I like the lighter stuff going on but the darker hair matches my [strong] personality more.

      The “nice elderly lady” [&^%$] here at McDonald’s is breathing down my throat because my coffee’s gone and I’m still typing so I better run. [She just asked me if I wanted more coffee with her hands on her hips and a VERY disapproving look.] Gah…

      See you soon. 😉

      December 16, 2013 at 2:01 pm

  2. yvo

    For the next neck breather/Bulldozer, just smile sweetly and asked do you have a prayer request? coz I will storm the gates of heaven on your behalf? :)) xx

    December 16, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    • Oh I do know that about you. 😉

      Hmmm….I would only ask that you ask God to breathe LOVE into my oldest siblings’ hearts. I love them very much and cannot stand discord. So, that would be the top prayer request.

      Get to stormin’ sister! heheh…
      (And, as always, thanks, Y. You’re a gem.)

      December 16, 2013 at 10:14 pm

  3. Sami Clara

    Oh, my gosh! How I love reading your posts. You crack me up at times. ❤ You *ARE* "fairly smoking hot", indeed!!! 😉 And your rear… hahahaha well, it's allllllll good! You look fantastic! 😉

    I'm happy because you seem happy. ❤

    Thanks to Mc D's for providing you with internet. We sure missed you.

    Keep well. And we can't wait until January when you'll be back for good. 😉

    With love,

    December 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    • Thanks, Sami. :0) An overheating car obviously isn’t enough to keep me from driving to few miles to Micky Dees- ha. (You know you’re a blogging junkie when…)

      I’ve missed you as well. I’ll pop over to your place in a few; I’m curious to see how you’re doing and how the mag’s going. I’m still blown away that you’ve turned everything around so quickly. (Again, BRAVO.) See you soon! xo

      December 16, 2013 at 10:10 pm

      • Sami Clara

        Haha you made me smile. ❤ Thank you. ❤

        December 19, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      • I’ll be thinking of you when I pop tonight’s Ambien, Sami.

        Hehe… x

        December 19, 2013 at 3:48 pm

      • Sami Clara

        Hahaha and me with my Diazepam. ❤

        Thanks so much, B. You're such a sweet soul.

        December 19, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      • Back atcha, Sami!

        December 19, 2013 at 4:09 pm

  4. this was great, not the great internet apocalypse…but the amazing photos and congratulations on your sale!

    December 16, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    • Thanks, MV! I’m going to say something that others say to me, and I rarely say this to anyone, but, “coming from you” that means a lot. It sounds so cheesy, but it’s true. Love your dark, grungy style. It scratches my noir itch. Good seeing you. :0)

      December 16, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      • see now were gonna be all “you’re awesome…no you’re awesome… you hang up…no you hang up first..but thank you that’s a wonderful compliment and i always look forward to your photos…thanks superwoman

        December 17, 2013 at 8:36 am

      • Hahaaa….that made me laugh out loud- for real!

        You’re so right. 😉

        December 18, 2013 at 12:41 pm

  5. ZakcHead

    You are EXTREMELY HOT ! In case you were wondering 😛

    December 16, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    • Oh my…thank you Mr. Head.

      That…sounded awkward.


      December 16, 2013 at 10:11 pm

      • ZakcHead

        I’m honest, and sometimes honesty and flattery are the best of an awkward friendship

        December 18, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      • True, true. Many of my (awkward) friendships have come about from me giving somebody a good thrashing and then apologizing with egg on my face (as the old saying goes). I try to not do that any more- I’m getting too old for that crap!

        It’s a pleasure to meet you though. :0)

        December 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      • ZakcHead

        And to you as well ! Sometimes I forget why I’ve started a blog, but with perfect honesty, its the people I meet as a result of it ! 🙂

        December 18, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      • For the whole first year, I had like- 0 comments and yet, I continued on with my hormonally-charged rampages against nobody in particular. (There were some good things in there too…)

        But yes, power to the people!
        All 5 of you. 🙂

        December 18, 2013 at 4:03 pm

      • ZakcHead

        I’ve gone through the same line of bullshit.. The only way I’ve gotten anyone to comment on my work is by commenting on everyone’s postings.

        To me, this blog is like a diary, I write everything and anything. However, it’s nice to speak with someone in regards to it 🙂

        December 18, 2013 at 4:13 pm

      • Same here. ;0) When you see somebody with 5,000 “followers”, don’t be fooled. They don’t have followers as much as they have “commenters back”. That’s the nature of the beast. We can dress it up in a tux and a rose all we like, but it’s still a necessary evil in the end, otherwise known as “PR”. As an artist, I HAVE to PR if I want to sell. Exposure means $ and while I’m not rich, I do make a sale here and there which actually helps pay the bills. I’ve been doing this for more than a decade, long before “blogs” became the norm. But it works the same with all social media, whether you’re trying to sell a print or just screamingly lonely on the inside and want to relate/connect with others. If you want the feedback, you have to do the grunt work!

        Nobody has 3,000+ “followers” because they’re so awesome or great or funny or cute (etc.). Nah. They spend a LOT of time on their computers commenting/posting/networking- yada yada. I’m too lazy for all that jazz these days, so- 5 or 10 faithful friends that know me well suits me fine. (And much better than a thousand who don’t.)

        I’m happy to count you as one of my friends. xo

        December 19, 2013 at 1:35 pm

      • ZakcHead

        As am I :). It’s always a dream to be something you’re not, for me, that is to be the talk of the town… Everyone seeks attention in different ways. Where as this blog is for exploring creative thinking and colourful writing, it isn’t the same as a twitter account (or scream for attention).

        It’s been a dream to be an artist, a writer or a musician. Lately I’ve her half assing both arts. I don’t blog with the expectation of becoming a great writer or creating a following of admirers.

        I don’t know much else to say on that point. 😛

        December 19, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      • Well what kind of art do you like, Zakc? I think you’re a great “expressionist” and to me, that’s an art form in itself. What’s your pleasure? Painting? Sculpting? Words? Movement/Dance? Photography? (Etc.)

        December 19, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      • ZakcHead

        I guess I would say my art, and passion is music. Playing, listening, enjoying. I play piano and more recently guitar as well. I find it to be more and more liberating. It truly is a gateway to releasing my soul… How about you? 🙂

        December 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      • Same! And I agree with you on that one. (Music is able to say things we can’t with our mouths.) I’m a songwriter/musician too (and singer). Piano and guitar for 27 years- written a lot of songs. (I want to eventually get around to uploading my music and songs- maybe when the college years are over.) If you upload anything, let me know. I’d love to check it out. :0)

        December 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

  6. Love your words and your photography. Phenomenal! And oh yeah, nice ass!

    December 16, 2013 at 10:14 pm

  7. Damn– you ARE smoking hot! And argh, I’m sorry for your loss of Netflix. And the other important things of course. I feel ya on the overheating car thing– been there and done that a couple times! Just keep pouring water and antifreeze in that puppy 😉
    Hope your holiday is going well– now I’m craving a peppermint mocha 😉

    December 17, 2013 at 11:10 am

    • Yup- I pour in the water and Antifreeze every few miles. I’ll be getting a few extra grand/grant that I won’t have to pay back in February (thanks Frank O’Bannon!) and I should really replace this little beater, but I’m such a cheapskate, I can’t commit to that as long as its still getting me from point A to point A.aaaaB- ha. (My sister gave it to me 4 years ago thinking it wouldn’t last another month or so.)

      I’ve thinking that I’ll pay 6 months of the rent and my Time Warner bill up front and drive this sucker around instead I think until something falls off. I can live without my car but not my internet…heheh..

      (I remind myself that “school years” = dirt poor, and that’s pretty standard fare.) Take good care of yourself, Aussa.

      {I may or may not have a mischevious grin on my face thinking about you and Wanda practically living together at work.) Mhahaha….


      December 18, 2013 at 12:51 pm

      • Oh my gosh, I WILL be blogging about Wanda soon, I promise!!!! Trust me, it has not been silent over here!!!!

        And I’m totally with you on driving a beater! Run that thing into the ground. Money is better spent practically everywhere else but on a car!

        December 18, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      • I’m…still at Micky Dees. I’ve been held hostage for the past hour and a half by…”Wanda’s Uncle”.


        I’ll be checking in soon. 😉

        December 18, 2013 at 3:58 pm

  8. Its nice to hear from you and you do look smoking lovely! 😀 I adore the photos as well!:D

    December 18, 2013 at 9:47 am

    • Hi Oloriel, so good to see you as always. :0) “Smoking lovely”- I’m going to have to remember that…heheh. Cute. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods; no doubt you’re writing some amazing stuff, as usual. Thanks for popping by! I’ve missed you. x

      December 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm

  9. haha! your writing is great! and ur photography even better! there must b etruth in that saying after all….”great mind sthink alike”…LOL

    December 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    • Hey, good seeing you. :0) Thanks, by the way. I tell the naysayers that it’s a lot of work making pics look intentionally crappy (blur/grain, etc.) Heheh…

      Hope all is well with you, FC. No doubt you’re riding the wild waves of life with many stories to tell. I’ll come over. :0)

      December 19, 2013 at 1:27 pm

      • hehe! i think u may ahve hit the proverbial nail on the head with that comment about making pics look crappy….i do spend quite a bit of time doing that myself…it is a time-consuming thing indeed.
        stories to tell? cetainly so…mosey over when ur next in town…;)

        December 19, 2013 at 1:36 pm

      • Done deal! :0)

        December 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      • …i’ll have the drinks ready….i’ll be in the coolest bar in Vancouver..:)

        December 19, 2013 at 1:47 pm

      • Well, make mine a coke as I don’t drink. (An occasional shot or 4 of brandy 5 times per year or so.)

        Ok. Make mine a brandy…heh.

        December 19, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      • no problem….you can have a taste of my absinthe….

        December 19, 2013 at 1:50 pm

      • The Green Fairy. (Among other interesting titles.) You know, Van Gogh was fond of it. Then he lost his mind a time or two and shot himself in the head.

        Go easy on it. ;0)

        December 19, 2013 at 1:55 pm

  10. Northernbaygirl

    Hey girl. Fairly smokin’ hot? erm NO…….. more like TOTALLY smokin’. There’s nothing wrong with having a little extra junk in the trunk.and that is one damn fine butt. I love the pic of the ‘spiky this or that’, I miss my little Canon Rebel (I still have it but the memory card slot is buggered) am debating buying a pre-owned 400D and a ‘nifty fifty’ next year. Hope you get back online soon. & hope you have a great Christmas xxx

    December 23, 2013 at 11:27 am

    • Hey! :0) You know what, go with the 400D and the 50 MM (1.8 II, of course). It’s totally worth the $75 or so you’ll pay for a used copy (50 MM) but really, it’s even more worth it to just go ahead and spring another $25 and buy it new/mint. You’ll know that there’ll be no scratches or issues beforehand. I’ve only ever had one problem with buying a used camera (Ebay). Canon Rebel 6.3 MP (not the best ever, but the lenses make up for it) and in certain exposure, there’s a huge fluorescent C that covers the center of the frame. Lovely. It wasn’t worth the trouble complaining/returning/waiting/etc. I even gave the guy a decent review- ugh. I really wanted to rip him a new one for sending that crap out under the pretense of it being an “excellent camera!” but he swore he didn’t know so I cut him a break. I’m re-upping to an EOS 60D in February. (Yeah!! From 6 MP to 18- rock on.) I absolutely love the Nifty Fifty- you really can’t go wrong with that thing. My only complaint is the fixed focal length and there’s no slack to be had, really. The cons are that you have to get up close to your subject and actually ‘interact” with them (rather than zooming from a distance) but the pros are: you have to get up close to your subject and interact with them. ;0)

      I would highly recommend the 50 MM for anybody who wanted to venture into street photography/photojournalism also.

      Anywho, great seeing you. :0)
      I wish we could trade locations for about a month! I would love to shoot the sea. You have a great Christmas too! xo

      December 23, 2013 at 11:58 am

  11. Hey girl! I hope your apocalypse is over soon!! I really miss you ❤ I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and tell you how much I appreciate you letting me confide in you this past year. Also, thank you for being such a huge inspiration in my life. I went down to the Charleston Market (it's an old slave market in SC) where they sell art, photography, etc yesterday. Guess what? Your art blows everything in that entire place out of the water. I was even looking at those things they were selling thinking, damn if only I could rent a table I would be makin the big bucks haha! Love your pics above. You are gorgeous. I can only HOPE to look like that in a few years. I am so out of shape ugh. That is why my head is usually all that is in a photo…and even these days that is rare lol. We are headed to Florida for Christmas! Hope I get some good shots 🙂 Loving every minute of my camera and you for recommending it.

    Take care of yourself!! Love Jen

    December 23, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    • Oh Jen, I’m so glad you’re loving your new toy. :0) I saw an immediate change in the quality of your pics after you started using it and was like, “Woah. These are darn good.” I hope you take it out for a proper spin around the beaches and snag some great pics. :0) Can’t wait to see them!

      The art booth display (using your own SIGNED photos) is a great idea, you know, for the future and when you get some down time, apart from school. (At this point, I’m beginning to think we’ll get our Master’s together- chipping away at the ole academic iceberg…heh.) We’ve really been neck to neck together this past year, haven’t we? And thank YOU as well for being there for me also, M&M. I love you dearly. I’ve seen you go through some major heartache, changes, depths of sorrow- exuberant joy, the loss of your sister, moving, the loss of “true friends”, your rebirth in photography, career switches- the list goes on. And you’re stronger for ALL of it. Thank you for inspiring me as well. :0)

      Keep me posted on your current courses and how that’s going. Remember, if you need a semester off- do it. Don’t hurt yourself. I’ve watched so much Judge Judy lately I’ve renamed the show “Bitch Training 101”. Ha. Love that woman.

      You take good care of yourself too. Be good to yourself and love your body! Don’t be mad at it for not being the shape you want it to be. ;0) My “secret” is that I do everything in moderation. Small amounts of EVERYTHING. I never eat to get stuffed- I used to be so bad about comfort eating. (I used to put away almost an entire lb. of pure sour cream with Doritos just as a “snack”.) Believe me, I know.

      Anyway, I started turning to photography to express my feelings rather than food. You’ve got the new camera- do that too. ;0) Also, remember- cayenne, ginger, and straight green tea. I don’t live without those 3 things every day- they’re natural fat burners and they kick up your metabolism better than any OTC/ over the counter gimmicks.

      Have a blast in Florida!
      See you soon. xo

      December 23, 2013 at 12:42 pm

  12. bipolarbarbieq

    I wish I had a camera again. Mine is busted. And a phone is not the same. :/ You inspire me to want to take pictures again.

    December 23, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    • Hey BB, email me your (snail mail) address.

      I’ll send you a little something at the end of January. x

      December 23, 2013 at 1:49 pm


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