It’s been a crazy day.
Josh and I slept in. (Or thought we would.)
The sister-in-law called with the reminder that she had my $100 that she owed me.
She also reminded me that she dropped it off with someone else and I would need to retrieve it. Nice.
After having our coffee, we left, and made our rounds around town.
We got some gas then were off to pay a bill on the west side of town. From there, we split to the GFS Foodstore to pick up some (very, very good) beef ribs:
From there, we were off to the park to pound out a mile (right at 15 minutes). Naturally, my head felt like raw heck when I woke up but pushed through the day regardless. What choice do I have?
Following the mile at the park, we hit up the Dollar Tree for T.P., paper towels, shampoo and such. We also found these nifty health pills that are loaded with Gotu Kola, Ginko, Acai berry and green tea extract. (Some of my favourite things.) We grabbed several packs along with some 5 minute Vitamin B12 power shooters and downed them in the car, along with some of the herbal pills. Afterwards, we were off to the Family Dollar where I repaid a debt I owed.
“Excuse me,” I said to the cashier. “I owe your partner, the elderly woman who’s in pain all the time, 3 cents. I’ve decided to pay 5 because she let me slide the other day.”
And with that, I gave the cashier five pennies, and with a quick smile, I left.
(My daughter, Brianna, brought to my attention the other day that I needed to go out and do a random act of kindness. I’m thinking that may qualify to some degree? Perhaps I’m a cheapskate.)
After letting several people cut in front of me on a busy street (and making an old man smile), we ran back to the Dollar Tree, picked up some BBQ sauce…after popping into Sav-A-Lot for some milk and butter (the latter of which I have renamed “Better than Sex”- but not really) and then returned home.
Ignoring the nagging pain in my head, I stepped out onto my back deck and decided to spruce it up a bit.
The before pic:
I’ve got these interesting little seed thingies falling from the tree. They look like birdseed. Not sure what they are:
It’s almost 7 and I’m acutely aware more and more that I’m making it particularly easy for a stalker to keep up with me. (I’m quite sure at this point that Mr. Broihier is following my every move. And to that I say, “Mr. Broihier, you indeed still suck, sir!”)
I had plans of sipping a frozen margarita on the deck with Marlene Dietrich’s bio, but no…no… I’m off to slow cook the ribs and catch up on Wheel of Fortune.
Another day gone…
Today has been one of the most wretched days of my life. I’ve had the worst migraine that I’ve ever had, and it has been a doosy. I started my day with a strong dose of cayenne and ginger (as usual) , followed by a small cup of medicinal tea. I was grossly nauseous, and so went back to bed. I tried to read some of my Bette Davis/Joan Crawford dual biography, but was too sick. The pain was mostly in the back of my head, exactly where my cyst is, and it was swelling- massive pressure was building up and as usual, it felt as if I’d been shot in the back of the head- but this is actually worse. When a person is shot in the head, more times than not, they die. If they don’t die, they’re rushed to the hospital and given large doses of morphine, stadol, demerol, or something of that nature so they’re not suffering. In my case, I have to sit it out. Minutes feel like hours. Words are too simple to describe this kind of ongoing pain.
I haven’t taken a phenergan in over a month, but I tried to take one half and be very still. Eventually though, my stomach revolted. My son asked, “Do you want me to bring you the trash can, mom?”
“No, I don’t want to throw up in front of everybody,” I said.
Two minutes later I ran to the bathroom and “worshipped the porcelain god” as the saying goes. Now if you’ve never thrown up a fairly large amount of cayenne pepper, you haven’t really lived yet. My whole head was on fire! My nasal passages felt as if somebody’d sprayed acid into them and I was crying tears that actually burned. (Not boo-hoo crying, but phsyiologically.) Also, the pain was exacerbated by the fact that I had a new surge of fiery adrenaline coursing through my body, particularly in my head.
I made it back to my bed and by God’s good mercy, was able to sleep. I woke up feeling like raw heck, drank a bit more of my medicinal tea (poppy seed tea, which actually works to kill the pain, if you can keep it down), and after five more hours of intense agony- ordered Chinese. (Might I recommend the moo shu beef? General Tso’s chicken is also a tasty dish, and crab rangoons make a great appeteizer. This is what I ordered, along with a coke and a few Pepsi’s.)
It is now 12:45 a.m. and the pain is still pretty intense (it’s moved around to my front right eye socket). Ibuprofin is a joke, but I took two anyway. It’s been three weeks since I’ve stopped taking my Lortab and Ambien. My liver was beginning to tell me that I couldn’t keep taking pills and remain “healthy”. Granted, I never exceeded 10 mg. at one time, which is the equivalent of 1 blue Lortab, (but seldom took even that much). This is part of the reason why I decided to become certified in Substance Abuse- I know far too many people who have been reduced to a mere statistic, having lost everything (including themselves) to drugs.
I’ve become passionate in my search for a homeopathic solution: pain management without having to take pharmaceutical chemicals. Poppy seed tea can be taken at small doses to combat severe pain, such as the pain from my arachnoid cyst, while still allowing me to function. Naturally, if you take a larger amount, you can get higher than a kite, but if I wanted to get high, I’d just smoke a joint. I like to be in control of my faculties though. This is part of the reason why I quit drinking liquor over five years ago. If I chose to not take anything at all, I’d be limited to “getting out of bed to pee” and that’s about it. I can’t live that way. So after much consideration and trial and error, I’m sticking with my cayenne, ginger, and med. tea, when necessary.
I do get more migraines this way (not taking pharmaceutical drugs) and some days it’s sheer agony, like today, but my liver feels 80% better.
Through it all, I’m able to say, “Thank you God for this pain. I still choose to praise you, and lift up Your Name.”
When I compare my pain, to the pain that Jesus had to endure, I shudder to think that I could even complain. I still have two eyes that see, and a heart that loves- two working hands, a family that I love and that loves me. I have much to be thankful for.
Much to be thankful for. 🙂